Blynn Clonesatz
An emotionally volatile actor who pretends to be blind at Starbucks.
Highlight Bits & Quotes
11Blynn's Starbucks Blindness
Blynn Clonesatz reveals her emotional instability and her habit of pretending to be blind at Starbucks whenever they misread her name on a cup as 'Blind,' viewing it as an 'actor's challenge.'
"Sometimes when they say 'Frappuccino for Blind,' I will pretend I'm blind."
"Peth not there. My favorite bathroom sign we have."
"I see his soon-to-be ex-wife at least four times a day."
"You said I want to be a kind of donkey. I want to be Bill Clinton."
Shakespearean Buddy Comedies and the Gargoyle Hamlet
The troupe pitches Shakespearean adaptations of modern films like 'When Harry Met Sally'. Richard LeFleur reveals his dream role is an 'evil gargoyle' version of Hamlet, leading to a physical performance of the character.
"The actor's body is a musician, it says, is the music."
"You always pitch old like buddy comedies."
"I'll haveth what she is having."
"I would love to be a little bit of a more evil Hamlet."
Blynn's Funnel Monologue and Bathroom Directing
Blynn delivers a profound, nonsensical 'funnel monologue' that ends in a spiritual discharge. Cedric is then forced to perform a monologue he was caught doing in a bathroom with a two-way mirror.
"Our lives as well become a nicker on a boy, a cut off pant."
"Out, brief candle. I got stage lights."
"Sometimes I wish I could kill your wife."
"I just wish you would end up murdered."
Cedric Busket's Groundbreaking Adaptations
Director Cedric Busket discusses his avant-garde Shakespearean visions, including 'Hamlet in a Mall' featuring Ophelia as a Hot Topic employee and a queer reimagining of 'Merchant of Venice' that managed to be both anti-Semitic and homophobic.
"Hamlet in a mall was the most groundbreaking adaptation of that show."
"I changed the text to 'To me or not to me.' You know, that suitcase store, 'To Me'?"
"I swear to God, he's about to come out. I can tell."
The Dark Place and the Scottish Play in a Diner
Cedric threatens to cancel rehearsal, causing the actors to spiral into personal revelations about their 'dark places' and family drama. They discuss a version of Macbeth set in a diner inspired by 'The Bear'.
"I'll probably go to a dark place, Cedric."
"My son is about to come out."
"He cheated on her so much."
The Tempest in Palm Springs and the Masthead Fit
Cedric announces a mid-century modern 'Tempest' set in Palm Springs. Richard LeFleur is cast as the ship's masthead, triggering a violent 'dancing fit' of artistic release that the others encourage.
"You lascivious codswallow!"
"No longer a gargoyle. Now you're a masthead."
"Let it run through your body!"
Exit Pursued by a Bear
The cast performs a chaotic, high-pitched vocal interpretation of the famous Shakespearean stage direction, ending the episode in a cacophony of screams.
"Exit stage left. Pursued by a bear."
"It's a nightingale!"
"It's so charming."
Titania's Fly System Obsession
Titania Flower Folsom, a physical actor who played Puck as a literal child, discusses her insistence on using a theatrical fly system for every role, including a high-flying, singing Lady Macbeth.
"I do heavily rely on the fly system. I love it."
"What is grieving but not flying?"
The Social Media Macbeth Ritual
After accidentally saying 'Macbeth', Cedric must perform a ritual involving spinning and bad words. They discuss their 'cancel culture' version of the play where the witches are social media apps.
"I was the Twitter bird because I flew."
"Screenshot apology notes app!"
Mercury Poisoning and The Wicked Sisters' Apology
The actresses engage in a high-drama Shakespearean apology session after it's revealed one of them put mercury in the others' coffee, leading to three weeks of 'vile liquid' excrement.
"Mercury did course through my veins making my excrement come out as vile liquid."
"I do substrate myself and rip my ribs open to thee."
Creeps vs. Crepes and Minions Summer Night's Dream
A heated debate erupts over whether a line in Macbeth is 'creeps' or 'crepes'. The group then discusses their upcoming season, including a Minions-themed Shakespeare play where actors say 'banana' if they forget lines.
"I don't think it's crepes. I don't think we're at breakfast."
"If we can't remember our lines, we can just say banana."