Bo (Martha Stewart's Boyfriend)
the 18-year-old boyfriend of Martha Stewart.
Highlight Bits & Quotes
10The Art of Farting Around Famous Women
The boyfriends discuss the impossibility of passing gas around their high-profile partners, leading to a reveal about Bo's Fruit Roll-Up 'insulin band' and Chunk Punk's 'gaslighting' technique of trapping women in dark, smelly rooms.
"She's a smelly-A so she smells it all."
"You blow some gas and then you turn off all the lights and close the door and leave her in there."
"I put the hole you know the hole that they have for your dick? I put it back there so I get good breeze access."
Learned Helplessness and ATM Embezzlement
Chunk Punk describes his 'learned helplessness' strategy of tangling his fingers in his girlfriend's hair to escape for 'coffee runs' that are actually secret ATM withdrawals to hoard cold hard cash for the 'millennium'.
"I am the business manager."
"When millennium hits we're going to have no banks and I'm going to be the only one with cold hard cash."
"I pretend I don't know how to do it without getting my fingers tangled in her hair."
The Famous Women's Boyfriend Meetup Opening Lines
The boyfriends discuss their strategies for networking at high-profile events while their famous partners are busy with the press, including a hostile 'sucker' opening line and gaslighting techniques.
"What a fucking suckers here tonight?"
"Usually I'm at home changing the title of the house to my name."
"I've kind of low-key gaslit her and more than in the fart way."
The SAT Word Puzzle Logic Breakdown
Logan explains how his girlfriend Dana is forcing him to take the SAT, leading to a nonsensical group analysis of a transportation-themed word analogy involving 'brothers' and 'Sadie Hawkins dances'.
"Railroad is to car as road is to blank."
"Each transportation mode took its own brother."
"It's like a Sadie Hawkins dance where the train tracks asks the car."
Bro-Vision and the Final Out
Bo decides he no longer wants the others as mentors. Mackenzie introduces 'Bro-Vision' sunglasses that play 90s alternative rock, leading to a chaotic musical finale and sign-off.
"I don't want any of you guys to be my mentors."
"It's bro vision. It's boyfriend vision."
"Take me, dick god."
Sasha Spielberg's Muse and the Chiclet Confetti
The unnamed boyfriend of Sasha Spielberg discusses his career in 'artist tech' and reveals that his girlfriend's viral prank videos are half-real, including one that knocked his teeth out like 'chiclet confetti.'
"My teeth went kabloom like chiclet confetti, dude."
"I'm trying to do graphic like a street art, but for the computer."
The Theology of Dick God
The panel discusses the concept of being a 'muse' and introduces their secret deity, Dick God, whom they worship for blessing them with rich women.
"Oh mighty Dick God, thank you for blessing me with a rich woman."
"Do you ever mix up your prayers to God and Dick God and then they get all swapped?"
The Jennifer Slayer and Scientology Numerology
Logan explains how his 32-letter name makes him a prime target for Jennifers at the Church of Scientology, who seek him out to balance their 'cursed' 8-letter names.
"Jennifer's been cursed with an eight letter name so they all come to me."
"I'll tell you right now for real on God, low-key, I'm a bad dude."
Ballet Pirouettes on the Chest
Mackenzie Scud describes the physical toll of dating a prima ballerina, including having her perform pirouettes on his chest with wooden shoes.
"I have her do that shit on my chest, bro."
"Those shoes are actually made of wood at the end."
The Celebrity Leakster and the Plunger Mic
The group discusses how their private journal entries get leaked to TMZ, leading to the discovery of the 'Celebrity Leakster'—a leprechaun dressed as a plumber who hides under sinks with a plunger that doubles as a microphone.
"The trick is he's a leak. And then he gets in and he pretends he's going to fix your sink but he just crawls under the sink and he stays for 7 days."
"The skinny end is a microphone and the other end is a megaphone."