"A USC film student with a $100,000 budget who made the ambiguous film 'The Big Pit'."
The panel of young college filmmakers introduces themselves, including a 45-year-old sophomore from Chapman and a Long Island native from NYU.
"I'm Mike Waters, I'm 45 years old, I went back to film school and I am a sophomore at Chapman University."
"Hi, I'm Deb, Deb from Long Island, and I'm from NYU."
Deb expresses her visceral disgust for Monty Python, specifically citing their 'greasy teeth' as a reason for her hatred.
"When I see those greasy-ass boys, I want to blow my brains out."
"The greasiest teeth I've ever seen in my life."
Brian brags about his massive USC budget and Hollywood producer, while Connor explains that in Austin, filmmakers must dress as construction workers to avoid being attacked by locals who hate cameras.
"My budget was $100,000 with RED cameras, really nice lenses."
"We technically were classified as a construction job, and then we have to put up a bunch of barriers."
Mike reveals he didn't know how to edit his film, resulting in a single-take movie that includes him accosting women in a hotel lobby and making small talk about the Spurs in an elevator.
"I had no idea that was in my movie."
"Sometimes in life you've got to just send it."
Brian reveals his film 'The Big Pit' is actually propaganda for a men's fraternity called the Union of Southerly Charm, funded by wealthy Southerners to showcase their manners.
"The pit is Southerly Charm."
"I'm in the business of propaganda."
The panel mocks Mike's only 'cut' in his film: a manual zoom onto a Post-it note with his name on it, during which he audibly complains about his knees on the soundtrack.
"The fact that I was able to achieve a slow zoom is an accomplishment in itself."
"Especially when you get down, you go, 'My knees.'"
Deb describes the high-concept practical effects used to bring her mother's rash to life, involving smashed glass bottles and animatronics, while Mike admits he didn't know he was allowed to edit his film.
"I didn't know you could edit."
"I thought it was a style, Mike!"
Brian Binks discusses his film 'The Big Pit', refusing to explain the meaning of the pits because he signed a contract with himself to maintain artistic integrity.
"I loved the pit movie. I was a big fan of when they showed those pits."
Brian Binks reveals that his film 'The Big Pit' is actually a propaganda piece for a men-only union/gentlemen's club called the Union of Southerly Charm, which he claims is a prestigious fraternity.
"The pit is southerly charm."