Brighton Brooklyn Pauperkneepoll
directing the biopic of Miranda Nick.
Highlight Bits & Quotes
8The Great Egg Denial
The panel descends into chaos as Edgar Wallet insists that eggs do not exist and that Humpty Dumpty was merely a story, leading Julia to claim she died in a car crash and is currently a ghost.
"Your argument is that eggs have never existed."
"I don't exist in a corporal form, I'm dead."
"Rob is making us call it a biopicy dicky cuz he kind of loves to do that with words."
"What size is the font of these emails? Huge."
The Dedication to the Depiction of the Description
The panel of biopic directors discusses the grueling nature of their craft, including night shoots, breakfast pasta, and the philosophical debate over whether a hot dog is an omelette.
"It's the dedication to the depiction. That's so correct."
"Everything's an omelette at the end of the day."
"I'm eating dinner at a time you're eating breakfast. We're built different."
The Rob Dyrdek Lizard Birth
Didi The Four pitches a Rob Dyrdek biopic where the lead is played by a CGI lizard. The film features a projectile birth scene where a gecko shoots out of a human woman, accompanied by a 4D 'burning toast' smell in the theater.
"He's going to be played by a man that's actually a lizard."
"Lizard outshoots from the vagina. Gecko on the wall."
"It smells like damn burning toast in here."
The United Kingdom of Simi Valley
Brighton Brooklyn introduces her biopic about Miranda Nick, a girl who passed out in a Sephora. She speaks with a thick British accent despite claiming to be from Simi Valley, using 'Rebecca' as a term of endearment.
"Miranda Nick passed out in a Sephora at the age of 12 and is the reason we have mall cops."
"United Kingdom of Simi Valley."
The Mother Goose Estate and the Shoe House
Edgar Wallet discusses the difficulties of working with the Mother Goose estate, specifically Dan Goose, a 'money monster' who lives in a giant shoe with plumbing issues to prove his goose heritage.
"He lives in a big shoe to prove that he's a goose."
"To try to get plumbing into a shoe must have took so much."
The Biopic Auction at the DGA
The directors describe a high-stakes, high-school-fundraiser-style auction at the DGA where they bid on the rights to direct famous subjects, including a 'pathetic' auction for Taboo from the Black Eyed Peas.
"The subject walks out like it's like a weird high school fundraiser date."
"It's a store kind of, but you can't walk away with it if it's not the highest bid."
Johnny Bananas and the Skater Hardship Group-On
Didi discusses his upcoming slate of extreme sports biopics, including Johnny Bananas and Ryan Sheckler, defining 'real hardship' as failing to land a skateboard trick at age six.
"Hardship is basically not landing a trick. That's what real hardship is."
"These are films that are raised right."
The Humpty Dumpty Biopic: Breakfast Denier
The panelist who previously denied the existence of hard-boiled eggs is forced to pitch a Humpty Dumpty biopic, leading to a dramatic retelling involving a 'Jud-egg' betrayal.
"If we accept that there was a big egg that lived, that means there's other big eggs that still live."
"One of you will betray me. One of you will make me fall off this wall."