Cash Nay
A straight musical theater major who played a goth-punk tenor King Lear.
Highlight Bits & Quotes
9Cash Nay's Unadulterated Minute of Twisted Thoughts
The group forces Cash to perform a one-minute internal monologue, revealing his obsession with Smash Mouth, smoking tiny cigarettes, and his secret status as a non-musical theatre major who just does all the shows.
"I'll go home, I'll smoke the littlest, littlest bit of a cigarette."
"I guess I'm a little twisted guys, I'm so sorry you had to see that."
"Smash Bros makes me think of Smash Mouth, R.I.P."
Jersey Mike's Character Building and Future Stardom
Christine reflects on how her time at Jersey Mike's built more character than a Shonda Rhimes workshop, while Cash predicts he will be the best actor in the world in exactly 20 years.
"If I can tell you anything from my time working at Jersey Mike's, it builds character."
"When I'm 45 or 50 I'm going to get the funniest roles, but it's going to be a tough 20 years for me."
"I'm not going to get weird at your wedding!"
Patreon Plugs and the Curse of the Mummy
The performers break character to plug their Patreon, discussing a trip to Universal Studios to rid themselves of a mummy's curse and acknowledging an awkward kiss between Patrick and Jeremy.
"We have a Patreon where we go to hang out... and the tiers are very, very cheap."
"Sorry, we kissed earlier. It's just been awkward ever since."
"I went specifically to Universal Studios to rid ourselves of the curse of the Mummy."
Cash Nay: The Straight Tenor
Cash Nay introduces himself as a 'straight' musical theater major who played King Lear as a goth-punk tenor in a production inspired by Depeche Mode concerts.
"I'm straight, but I'm definitely not opposed to experience."
"I was shocked personally that King Lear was a tenor."
Christine Tert: The Self-Made CPA Daughter
Christine emphasizes her 'poor' middle-class upbringing where her parents were CPAs and the only art on the walls were framed W2s and tax forms.
"Instead of family photos, they literally just hung like tax forms on the wall."
"I am completely self-made."
Regina Spektor Sandwich Parody
Christine presents a 'clip' of her reworking Regina Spektor's 'Samson' into a song about Jersey Mike's sandwiches, despite her being on vocal rest.
"Onion spices, oil and vin, everyone just tap right in."
"You sound so poor in it. It sounds heartbreaking."
The Evermount University Senior Showcase Finale
The seniors perform a parody of 'Seasons of Love' from Rent, replacing the lyrics with hyper-specific references to their school, mashed potato quads, and their teachers' trips to West Hollywood.
"525,000 mashed potato quads."
"How do you measure a degree? In guitars! In sandwiches!"
The Tert Triple and Jersey Mike's Trauma
The seniors reminisce about Christine's legendary 'Tert Triple' pirouette and her heartbreaking one-act play about the struggle of working a summer job at Jersey Mike's.
"I will never forget the moment we like to call the Tert Triple when you landed that fucking triple pirouette."
The Future of Musical Theatre is Here
The hosts introduce the graduating senior class of Evermount University's prestigious BFA Musical Theatre program, setting the stage for a deep dive into their four-year journey in Vermont.
"Evermount University is known for one thing: their BFA musical theater program."