Cassidy Lion
A USC graduate and aggressive realtor who claims to have the best vocal blowjobs in the industry.
Highlight Bits & Quotes
10Skoogie Promo Blitz
The group fires off rapid-fire promos for the show 'Leasing La Brea' on Skoogie, incorporating bizarre catchphrases like 'Summer Mayhem' and 'Thor-sday'.
"Skoogie, it's wherever you have 5G."
"Jingle bells, I hear Skoogie."
"Oh, Timber, watch out. What is that? It's a Skoogie."
Dating Bob of Bob's Big Boy
The realtors reveal a shared dating history involving the mascot of Bob's Big Boy, debating whether a 'Big Boy' is legally considered a man.
"It was Bob of Bob's Big Boy."
"Legally, a big boy is a man."
The Heart of La Brea: Keypads and Fobs
Velveeta pitches a listing next to Magnolia Bakery, emphasizing that the true appeal of the neighborhood is the excessive security measures like 20-digit keypad codes.
"It has the heart of La Brea, which is keypads."
"The longer the code, the safer I am."
The Anti-Native Invasive Garden
Cassidy describes her 7,000 square foot bungalow, featuring crystal chandeliers for movie projection and a garden specifically designed with invasive species that are terrorizing the neighborhood.
"Farm to invasive species."
"You haven't lived until you've watched a movie on a chandelier."
The White Tiger Gibson Peep
Cassidy reveals she has an exotic white tiger named Gibson Peep living in her bedroom, leading to a discussion about the tiger potentially biting the realtors at a future event.
"Gibson Peep the White Tiger."
"Gibson Peep rips fat ass off realtor."
Did Somebody Just Skoogie?
Velveeta takes the network name literally, treating 'Skoogie' as a verb for a foul-smelling bodily function or presence in the room as the show concludes.
"Oh, did somebody just Skoogie? It's Skoogies in here."
"If you like Skooging, come on down."
The Cast of Leasing La Brea
The hosts introduce the cast of the new reality show 'Leasing La Brea,' a bunch of high-strung realtors from the Oglethorpe leasing office who specialize in rentals rather than sales.
"You think it's dramatic when people buy homes? It's dramatic when they rent them."
Cassidy Lion's Vocal Talents
Cassidy Lion introduces herself as a USC grad who has been leasing since age 16, boasting about her unique vocal abilities and threatening to 'fuck people up' with her throat.
"I gave the best blowjobs anyone's ever heard."
Stan Lamont: The Studio King
Stan Lamont introduces himself as the 'Studio King' who exclusively leases studio apartments, leading to a discussion about the group's wild trip to Stagecoach.
"I exclusively lease studios and I'm the studio king."
Lunchtime for Stan: The Musical
The group breaks into a multi-genre musical number mocking Stan's negativity, featuring solos, a rap breakdown, and a Doris Day-style melody.
"It's lunchtime for Stan, he's hungry for drama."