Curtis Suzuki
under-wheel and "guy that gets sucked into machines" stunt performer
Highlight Bits & Quotes
12The Elephant in the Room and the Spaghetti Incident
Champ Sergeant recounts a disastrous 1960s avant-garde film shoot involving a tranquilized elephant that passed out, destroyed craft services, and necessitated the invention of 'elephant doors.'
"We had spaghetti like men. Glasses of milk and spaghetti."
"The elephant died and we had to chop him up."
"That's why they call them elephant doors."
Champ Sergeant: The Golden Age Legend
Champ Sergeant, a veteran of 1950s westerns, discusses his close relationship with John Wayne and his refusal to wear wigs when doubling for actresses like Helen Mirren.
"I was a stunt performer on some of the greatest westerns of all time in the 50s and 60s."
"I am a man under here and I don't want this on me."
The Big Bang of the Knees
Curtis Suzuki details a practical effect on Bullet Train that shattered his knees so badly that his patella shards migrated to his head via osmosis.
"You can find pieces of patella in my head floating through my head."
"My tibia, my fibia, my radius, my ulna."
Rush Hour 2 Mattress Mishap
Curtis Suzuki explains how he ruined a high-stakes explosion shot in Rush Hour 2 by accidentally landing safely on Tempur-Pedic mattresses instead of being 'shredded' as intended.
"It sent me straight down a hallway into just a room filled with Tempur-Pedic mattresses."
"I signed something that said I'm okay with it. I'm good to die for a film."
The Jaws Ride Lawsuit and Audition
Curtis Suzuki details his origin story: sneaking onto the Universal Studios lot and getting sucked into the Jaws ride machinery, which he leveraged into a stunt audition during the subsequent lawsuit.
"I thought the shark ate me. I didn't know that shark machine had a suction to it."
"I was going to get I don't know 20 million dollars but I was like get me an audition."
The Teacher-Stunt Performer Pipeline
DJ T reveals her close relationship with a teacher who promised her stardom, leading to a discussion about the romantic overlap between stunt performers and educators.
"When you go to a stunt bar, it's half a teacher bar."
"What is so wrong with me that I'm constantly dating teachers?"
Space Parkour and the Fear of Floating
Trev pitches his dream stunt: parkour in zero gravity, where the primary risk isn't falling, but missing a handhold and drifting into the void forever.
"I would like to parkour in space."
"What if you miss the handhold and you just start floating in space for the rest of your life?"
The Petite Window Slide Stunt
April Shaun describes a hyper-specific stunt involving sliding through a partially open car window, driving into the ocean, and sliding back out.
"I make my body so petite I go through the window."
"I'll pitch that to the movie Kid Heist."
Quantum Bullets and the Oldest Man Alive
Curtis reveals he stole a quantum camera and replaced it with a peach cobbler crumb, while Champ Sergeant admits he is 123 years old and wants to die in Avatar.
"I replaced it with a crumb... the crust of a peach cobbler."
"I'm 123, I'm the oldest man alive."
The Great Stunt Escape
A gunman interrupts the podcast, prompting the performers to use their 'stunts'—including space parkour and being shot out of a gun—to escape the studio.
"We should use our stunts to get them out of here!"
"Put me in your gun!"
The Jenna Ortega COVID Handshake
DJ T describes her most dangerous stunt: shaking hands with Jenna Ortega on top of Mount Everest while Ortega had COVID, requiring specialized immunity exposure training.
Roundtable Roll-Call: The Unsung Heroes of Stunts
The panel introduces themselves, featuring a specialist in germaphobe handshakes, a performer who only plays children, and a man whose face was permanently flipped upside down by doctors.
"I primarily specialize in doing handshake stunts for Hollywood's germaphobes."
"They just had to take my whole forehead and flip it upside down."
"I'm petite and I won't let you forget it."