Cynthia "The Girl Who Never Left High School" Natalie
horror director of "Carrie"
Highlight Bits & Quotes
12The Niche World of Frame.io and Estonian Math
Within Bathervas and Jack Craftsman clash over cultural differences in math and the extremely niche use of Frame.io for time-coding horror films, leading to a discussion about Cynthia's bizarre remake of Carrie.
"It's rude to make an old man do math. I don't know what happens in your country, but in America we let our old men rest."
"I import it into Frame.io."
"The first 17 minutes was just credits and songs."
The Censorship of Single Women and Scary Wind
Jack Craftsman describes the 1970s struggle of CGI-ing wedding rings onto victims to satisfy sensors, while Marty Frank reveals her film was rated R simply for the presence of 'scary wind.'
"Only married women should be killed. That's what the sensor said."
"My movie was rated R for a scary wind blowing by."
"I saw wind in Up and I went, 'Oh my God, they are giving these kids a lot to swallow.'"
The Half-Second Attention Span and Frog Passes
Cynthia explains her directing style involves 'frog passes' and jump scares to accommodate children with half-second attention spans, while Jack describes his 'American Idol' style process for selecting kills.
"I am trying to write and direct films for kids whose attention span is a half a second, Marty."
"I write 300 kills for every movie and then I pick the best kills. It's like American Idol that way."
"I did a frog pass."
Jack Craftsman's War on Air Quotes
Jack Craftsman expresses his visceral hatred for modern 'finger quotes' and explains his refusal to hug 'actresses' because he doesn't consider them actors, leading to his ban from the Oscars.
"I do hate the finger quotes. That's one thing about modern society I cannot stand."
"I can't hug them because I don't consider them actors."
"The Oscars won't allow me in because I am bad to be around."
Hallmark Cards for Tragic Milestones
Marty Frank discusses her transition from writing Hallmark cards to movies, including titles like 'So You Lost Your Son' and 'Today's the Day You Are a Bat Mitzvah.'
"A lot of my cards were adapted into movies."
"Today's the day you are a Bat Mitzvah."
"The movie that I had my first kiss during was To My Grandson: So You're Eight."
Get Yucky: The Ultimate Horror Advice
Cynthia Natalie offers profound advice for young filmmakers: 'get yucky.' She elaborates on creating a 'yuck fest' and making monsters into 'hers' while Jack Craftsman suggests starting with shadow puppets.
"I'd say get yucky."
"Make it yuck Fest 2020. Make it yucky yucky yucky."
"Take some shadow puppets, see if you can scare your friends with them."
Jack's 35 Pairs of Walgreens Reading Glasses
Jack Craftsman reveals his psychotic habit of buying every pair of reading glasses he sees at Walgreens because he constantly loses them, leading to a pitch for a horror movie called 'The Healthy Menu.'
"I have 30 to 35 reading glasses in there in case I lose them."
"That's psychotic. That's absolutely psychotic."
"I have a horror movie that I'm working on called The Healthy Menu."
The Great Marijuana Misunderstanding
Jack Craftsman tries to discuss 'joints' (marijuana), but the other panelists insist he is talking about baseball bats. Jack eventually has a breakdown when he realizes he is the only one who knows what weed is.
"I need our security to be armed with huge fatty joints."
"There's no freaking way you guys call bats joints."
"Am I the only person on this whole panel who's heard of weed?"
Witches, Witches, Witches and a Bunch of Witches
Estonian director Within Bathervas discusses his A24-acquired hit, while the other directors project deep social meanings onto a film that is primarily about witches.
"It is called witches witches witches and a bunch of witches."
"The artist does not intend but sometimes the art takes over the intention."
Cynthia Natalie's Fat Camp Carrie Reboot
Cynthia Natalie details her reimagining of Stephen King's Carrie, which features Kelly Clarkson and a controversial 'fat camp' plot point that she fought to keep.
"BuzzFeed quoted me as the girl who never left High School."
"I pitched to Stephen many different arcs for our girl for Carrie and fat camp was the one that stuck."
The Mud Footprint Prank
Jack Craftsman discovers a mud footprint on his backpack, leading to a confrontation about whether Cynthia Natalie is trying to scare him to test his horror mettle.
"Is that why there was a big mud footprint on my backpack?"
"Nothing is more scarier than a big mud footprint on a backpack."
The Spooky Season Roundtable Roll-Call
The panel of horror directors introduces themselves through the lens of their most terrifying creations, ranging from a principal with an exploding throat to a single crow.
"It is the scariest creature you could imagine. It is a single Crow."
"I would put my signature serial killer Fred Franklin."