Deborah
The plumbing expert who finds emotional stability in the logic of pipes but cries 80% of the time.
Highlight Bits & Quotes
12The Stigma of Mud and the Fun Side of the Mudslide
Deborah discusses her passion for mud, claiming it is unfairly stigmatized compared to water. She reveals her 'Fun Side of the Mudslide' project and how she was discovered while looking for a big bug in the mud.
"This show is a psyop to prepare people for when their houses flip upside down."
"We're in bed with the mudslide industry."
"I'm known as plumbing, but I also have a huge passion for mud."
"We gotta destigmatize mud."
Meet the Property Quintuplets
The hosts introduce themselves as the Property Quintuplets, a group of HGTV renovators with highly specific specialties including paint, plumbing, front doors, and 'house confidence building.'
"I'm Jeffrey and I do relationships and confidence building for the house."
"I'm Deborah, I do plumbing."
"My name's Kody, I do the front door."
The Quintuplets' Origin Story
The siblings recall their childhood with a single mother who was a camera operator on Frasier and once accidentally drove an 80-pound studio camera home instead of her car.
"She was a camera woman in a multicam."
"I think instead of driving her car, she drove the camera home."
"She said, 'This isn't my Corolla!'"
The HGTV Pitch Process
The group describes the high-stakes world of pitching to HGTV, which involves bringing physical houses and doors into a giant parking lot in Industry City to compete with 55 other sets of quintuplets.
"We don't make decks, we make houses."
"It's a giant lot in Industry City and you sit there nervously next to 55 other quintuplets."
"We walked through the door of the pitch and then brought in another door."
Renovating the Vatican for Pope Francis
The Property Quintuplets discuss their 100th episode special where they give the Vatican a farmhouse-style facelift, replacing Michelangelo's 'ruined' work with gray wood and 100 toilets based on the Pope's Pinterest board.
"The church needs a facelift and so does the where the church takes place."
"Michelangelo came here and kind of ruined everything."
"He wants to go farmhouse. He wants to get rid of the big chair and go farmhouse."
Philanthropy for the Pretty and the Pharrell Trampoline Gag
The hosts discuss their nonprofit 'Check on Your Pretty Friends' and recall a failed renovation of Pharrell's home where they replaced his floors with heated blanket trampolines and set his stove to play 'Happy' on a loop.
"Ugly people get checked on all the time."
"We replaced the floor with indoor trampolines."
"The stove plays Happy on a loop forever."
DIY Advice: Load-Bearing Walls and Clear Pipes
Kody and Deborah offer questionable DIY tips, suggesting that homeowners should 'blow out' their front doors to be in the kitchen immediately and install clear pipes so they can see where the water goes.
"A lot more stuff in your house is load-bearing than you think it is."
"Why can we not talk about how the house is actually running?"
"Be messy, be brave."
The Karamo Brown 'I-Karama' Disaster
Jeffrey recounts a failed show collaboration with Karamo Brown called 'Straight Man, Bad House,' which fell apart because Jeffrey kept calling him 'Karama Chameleon' and tagging him in photos of a giant bug.
"I wanted to make I-Karama the handle."
"Who untags themselves from a hilarious Facebook status?"
"It was just a difference of personalities."
Wall Teeth and the 'We Are the Teeth' Charity Single
Chippy pitches a brand collaboration for wall toothpaste, treating bricks as 'teeth' that need brushing. She performs a snippet of a star-studded charity single that sounds suspiciously like 'We Are the World'.
"We've developed a toothpaste to brush your walls' teeth. And by teeth, I mean bricks."
"We are the teeth, teeth of the building."
"I understand why you didn't maybe want to reveal it, because it is exactly the tune of We Are the World."
Quintuplet Advice and the Legislation of Illustration
The group offers advice for working with quintuplets, including never kissing romantically and not relying on telepathy. Jeffrey explains the government sector of 'Legistration'—a mix of legislation and illustration.
"Legistration is a very specific part of the government where you combine legislation and illustration."
"The elephant in the room: never kiss romantically."
"Embrace whimsy, paint the sink."
The Quintuplet Look and the Short Brother Arnie
The hosts describe their identical physical features, including huge cheekbones and symmetrical brows, and mention their short brother Arnie who is used for basement work because the rest of them are 6'8".
"I'm speaking to you from a huge cheekbone."
"We're 6'8". All of us are 6'8"."
The Arnie Emergency and Show Business Sign-Off
The quintuplets realize they forgot to feed Arnie, leading to a chaotic, screaming exit. The hosts break character to deliver the standard podcast credits and legal disclaimers.
"Oh my God, we forgot to feed Arnie!"
"This is an improvised podcast and we are stupid."