Ex-Wife of Michael Phelps
A musician who views her trauma as a celebration and isn't afraid to air her dirty laundry.
Highlight Bits & Quotes
11The Michael Phelps Infidelity Album
The Ex-Wife of Michael Phelps reveals her album 'Fuck You, I Found You' was inspired by finding her husband with five women at a spa, including a seductive home-wrecker named Junior.
"I found him fucking five women at that Wii Spa."
"A seductive home wrecker named Junior."
"Sometimes demons come in a beautiful man."
Jean Viver's Mellow Indie Trauma
Jean Viver discusses his patient songwriting process, which involved locking himself in a cabin in Culver City for two months to process a breakup where he simply didn't text a girl back.
"I literally want to eat you like a Whitman sampler."
"I went through a breakup and locked myself inside a cabin for two months."
"Men are lies and women are pigs."
Singing the Cease and Desist
The Ex-Wife of Michael Phelps performs her hit song 'Cease to Exist,' which is composed entirely of the legal jargon from a cease and desist order she received.
"I sang the cease and desist on the backside of the album."
"Urban Outfitters has a shower curtain of the cease and desist."
"Cease your ability to speak."
Stinky Little Dick in the Peanut Butter Sauce
Delilah Guitarra performs her controversial B-side about an ex-lover's unfortunate encounter with a jar of Thai peanut sauce, leading to a detailed discussion on the logistics of jar oxidation and decanting.
"Get this lid off of the penis. Then we go to the hospital."
"We keep the jars hollowed out to oxidize them before we put them in the fridge."
"It's sort of like if you've ever decanted a glass of wine, we do the same with our jars of peanut butter sauce."
The Pastor Mike Barbados Scandal
The Ex-Wife of Michael Phelps defends her controversial relationship with Pastor Mike from TikTok, dodging questions about the timeline of his divorce while revealing a past affair with Joel Osteen.
"He communicated that divorce really clearly."
"That's when I was cheating on Joel's wife with Joel."
"Isn't music enough? Why do you need the timeline?"
Grammy Performance Spoilers and Janitorial Exes
The panel discusses their upcoming Grammy medley involving burning flags of their exes, while Cindy reveals her ex-husband will be cleaning up his own ashes as part of the janitorial staff.
"I hope he cleans up his own ashes."
"I represent divorced women all over the world. They look to me to treat my ex like shit."
"War has begun and it's not going to end until it can't happen anymore."
The 'We Are the World' of Breakups
The artists unite for a grand finale medley, combining their disparate styles into a chaotic anthem about mud, peanut sauce, and the fastest swimmers being terrible lovers.
"You can be the fastest swimmer but a terrible lover. Amen."
"Stick your dick in the mud."
"That was like We Are the World but for breakups."
Scabies on My Wedding Night
Cindy Elizabeth Wright (Green) reveals her album's central theme: her ex-husband Cedric giving her scabies on their wedding night, which she has turned into a musical theater-style medical drama.
"You gave me scabies on my wedding night. Fuck you."
The New Face of BuzzBall
Cindy Elizabeth Wright discusses her brand deals with BuzzBall, including a Diet Mudslide flavor and a collaboration with IHOP involving alcoholic syrup and hash brown flavors.
"I'm the new face of BuzzBall. Check out the new Diet Mudslide."
The Legend of Mud Juicing
Delilah Guitarra recounts catching her husband Eddie 'mud juicing'—a bizarre act involving a pile of mud and buckets of orange juice—which she considers a form of adultery.
"If his hard dick is in mud and juice, that's cheating."
The Breakup Songwriters Roundtable
The panel of musicians introduces themselves, discussing the trauma and celebration of writing albums about their exes, featuring a mix of high-energy rebellion and somber reflection.
"What was our trauma is now our celebration."