Marice Hem-Golashes
stylist for teenagers who want to be taken seriously.
Highlight Bits & Quotes
11The Fashion Outcast's Poo-Poo Incident
Fashion Emily St. Clair reveals she was exiled from high fashion after a series of accidental bowel movements at major runway shows, including Gucci and Valentino, which she describes as a pinball machine of humiliation.
"I was kicked out of the high fashion world because I did a poo poo at the Gucci show."
"In effect I do-dooed in all of them making me an outcast in the fashion community."
"After it happened you changed your first name to Fashion to try to compensate."
The Tremblay Canoli and Jacob's Law
Marice Hem-Golashes describes dressing Jacob Tremblay in a flammable Turkish rug, leading to a red carpet fire and the subsequent 'Jacob's Law' requiring buckets of flour at all events.
"I rolled him in an actual carpet on the carpet so we just look like a cylinder walking."
"Vogue called it the Tremblay Canoli."
"We call it Jacob's Law now."
Senator Hem-Golashes and the Pothole Closets
The panel debates the infrastructure decisions of Marice's father, a Senator who allegedly creates highway potholes as underground closets for commuters to change clothes.
"He's adding potholes to the highways himself."
"What if the closet was under the ground?"
"I don't agree with it politically but it's fun to play whack-a-mole in it."
The Celebrity Funeral Styling Game
Stone Rose Quartz leads a game where the stylists must dress celebrities for specific events, resulting in Chris Evans wearing clear plastic to a funeral.
"Chris Evans going to a funeral. Go!"
"The shirt must not touch his body yet sit on his shoulders."
"Black suit with a gun and red writing on the back saying I'm glad he's gone."
The Paradox of Disagreeing While Agreeing
The panel enters a recursive loop of 'completely disagreeing' with each other while actually stating the exact same points about the invisibility of their craft.
"I'm disagreeing with your point exactly."
"That's exactly what I said, and I fully disagree."
Marice Hem-Golashes and the Teen Invisibility Trend
Marice introduces her signature 'rubber shoe' trademark and her new focus on styling teenagers who want to be taken seriously by being completely unseen.
"My name is Marice, not to be confused with Maurice."
"The teens these days, they want to be unseen."
Miranda Magenta Klein: The Queen of Layers
Miranda discusses her long career, her retirement from red carpets due to global warming, and her current work styling Ina Garten in fireproof, oversized blouses.
"I hunt them with a rifle. I'll be in the Ann Taylor Loft and I'll be escorted out."
"I have no idea why she's called the Barefoot Contessa."
Ina Garten's Butcher Knife Incident
Miranda Magenta Klein shares a parallel trauma where her best friend Ina Garten threw a butcher knife at her for suggesting an Aritzia leather jacket, treating Miranda like a chicken ready for lunch.
"She threw not a small knife, a butcher's knife."
"It came at me so fast like I was a chicken ready to be cut and served to a group of gals for lunch."
The Anatomy of a Fall Dog's Machete Attack
Marice Hem-Golashes describes dressing the dog from Anatomy of a Fall, who allegedly attacked her with a machete. The group performs a dramatic reenactment of the 911 call where the operator is unhelpfully focused on blood types.
"He pierced me with a machete because I wanted to put him in a skirt."
"What kind of blood is that? Red, A-positive, B-negative, or A-OK?"
The Galoshes Scandal Revealed
Chuck Chester exposes Marice's dark secret: she was the stylist responsible for Jennifer Lawrence's frequent red carpet falls because she insisted the actress wear galoshes. Marice eventually owns her role in making J-Law relatable.
"You were the stylist for Jennifer Lawrence in the era where she fell down a lot because she was wearing all those galoshes you were giving her."
"I am the reason why Jennifer Lawrence tripped so much during her award season."
That's Why We Call It Showbiz
Stone Rose Quartz and Miranda Magenta Klein wrap up the chaotic styling session with a classic Hollywood sign-off, expressing mock shock at the outcome of the episode.
"Now I did not see that coming!"
"That's why we call it showbiz. Goodnight, Hollywood!"