Molly Ting
Highlight Bits & Quotes
12The Infinity Episode Order and the Closet Clause
Ryder Silver explains his contract prevents him from coming out of the closet until the show's 'infinity' episode order is complete.
"CBS told me I'm not allowed to come out of the closet yet."
"It was an eight, but they had it on its side."
"It was an eight but they had it on its side."
"That's when you can be queer? I think so."
Fire City and Helicopter Ambulance
Clive Sand introduces his Detroit-based show Fire City and its many elemental spin-offs, while Molly Ting describes her high-anxiety role in Helicopter Ambulance.
"In Fire City, there's always another fire."
"She is a helicopter pilot who is riddled with anxiety and is one of the best helicopter pilots in the world."
The Mandatory Procedural Draft
The panel discusses the 'Procedural Draft,' a mandatory service where attractive people who can read big words fast are forced by the government to star in network procedurals.
"You have to serve your country and you have to apply to be in a procedural."
"When the country finds out that you can read big words fast, I would lay low a little bit."
The Eroticism of Wind and The Fray
Molly Ting discusses her 10,000-episode arc involving a helicopter cockpit hookup and the show's exclusive deal with the band The Fray for procedural montages.
"The director wanted to reclaim wind as sexy."
"The Fray is the sound of my character's helicopter."
Clive Sand's Directorial Debut and Real Estate Compensation
Clive reveals he directed an episode and was compensated with multiple houses in Malibu and Reno, sparking a discussion on studios using land as currency.
"I got four houses in Malibu and a hotel complex in Reno."
"I own most of Ohio now, so that's great."
The Art of Beige Sex and Kissing Choreography
Molly Ting admits to having 'beige, boring sex' and needing a legendary choreographer to teach her how to make out for the camera.
"I have really beige, boring sex."
"I put my hands behind my back and do the thing and then I'm done."
The Open Table Sorority Scandal
Molly Ting launches into a vitriolic attack on the founders of Open Table, claiming she went to college with them and that they are 'sluts' who bullied her for her helicopter commute.
"Open Table, they're sluts."
"I know it because I went to college with them."
The Leech Conservatorship
Claire Peters reveals her plan to start a 'leech conservatorship' modeled after Britney Spears, where she can profit from the legal affairs and Vegas showcases of the medical leeches from her set.
"I've taken a fondness to all the leeches on the show."
"I want to be in control of their Vegas showcases and their legal affairs."
Procedural Acting Shortcuts
The actors discuss their repetitive daily routines, including Ryder's 'wrong then right' arc and Clive's limited range of reactionary lines about fires.
"My number one line is: There's a fire? Where?"
"I either say 'Here we go' or 'Here we go again.'"
The Helicopter Uber Exit
Molly Ting exits the podcast abruptly as her 'Uber'—a deafening helicopter—arrives to pick her up, leaving the other panelists in a cloud of noise.
"My Uber's here!"
"She took helicopters as Ubers!"
The Gift of a Single Truck
When asked about crew gifts, Molly claims she buys the crew 'a truck'—not a food truck, but one single vehicle for the entire crew to share.
"I buy them a truck. Do they share it? It's just one truck."
The Procedural Panel Roll-Call
The hosts introduce a panel of actors from various procedural television shows, establishing the theme of long-running network dramas and the specific archetypes they play.
"America runs on Dunkin', but also American TV runs on procedurals."