Sandra Diego
mother of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego aka The Bible Brothers
Highlight Bits & Quotes
10The Fluggies and the Tar Pit Miracle
Janitra reveals that Tiffany was found in the La Brea Tar Pits at four months old and four feet tall. The group discusses how she was almost cast as a 'Fluggy'—a disgusting orcish creature—in Survival Wars.
"They used her likeness exactly for the Fluggies."
"I live right near the La Brea Tar Pits, like in the tar."
"She was four feet at the time she was saying I'm much older."
Military Industrial Complex Collaborations
Gerry reveals his son Dallas doxes him and venmos Raytheon to get him canceled. Sandra expresses interest in Adeline collaborating with weapon suppliers for the brand.
"He'll venmo Raytheon, he'll venmo Lockheed Martin."
"Adeline would love to collaborate with Raytheon one day."
"It tastes a lot like tar."
The Bible Brothers' Individualism
Sandra Diego explains how she maintains the 'individualism' of her triplet sons by making them live in three separate homes across Southern California.
"We have the Laguna home for Shadrach, the Chatsworth home for Abednego, and the Topanga home for Meshach."
"I'd say that they're accidentally the same age."
The Leslie Khan Medical Triage Acting Class
The parents discuss the essential 'medical triage' acting course taught by Leslie Khan, where students are typed by their physical ailments, leading to a reveal that Dallas was diagnosed with hypoglycemia during a cold read.
"Leslie Khan caught someone's leukemia."
"It turns out he was hypoglycemic and they called it in the class."
Marketing to the Dead: Adeline's 100 Billion Followers
Nancy Reagan explains how her daughter Adeline achieved 100 billion Instagram followers by targeting the 'under-utilized demographic' of deceased peasants from the 1300s using a special computer.
"She has 100 billion on Instagram."
"There's an entire under-utilized demographic of the dead."
Bendigo: The Official Face of Ammonia
Sandra Diego reveals that her son Bendigo signed an exclusive brand deal with the chemical Ammonia, capitalizing on the 'Tide Pod' trend by telling kids not to drink it.
"Bendigo just signed an exclusive deal to be the official face of ammonia."
"They're like 'don't drink ammonia' wink wink."
The Boisterous vs. Dash Family Albums
The parents play snippets of their children's music, contrasting Tiffany's deep bass Kidz Bop covers with Dallas's aggressive trap music about getting money.
"This is Love Shack by Tiffany Boisterous."
"Dallas released a trap album."
The Menendez Energy and Final Projects
The momagers admit they are terrified of their children, comparing their collective energy to the Menendez brothers. They plug upcoming Netflix movies and Petco campaigns before Tiffany appears in the window.
"It sounds like we're all scared of our children."
"Return her to the mud!"
The Menendez Energy and Final Projects (Part 2)
The momagers admit they are terrified of their children, comparing their collective energy to the Menendez brothers. They plug upcoming Netflix movies and Petco campaigns before Tiffany appears in the window.
"Tiffany's just in the window! Hi baby!"
The Stage Parents Assemble
The panel of stage parents introduces themselves and their child stars, immediately establishing a competitive and toxic dynamic regarding their children's minor successes in commercials and sci-fi series.
"I'm Tiffany Boisterous' mom. My name is Janitra Boisterous."
"I am the father of Dallas Dash. Dallas, you guys know Dallas, gosh what a star."
"My name is Nancy Reagan, no relation."