Shawn Shotts
The 'comedy guy' of the group and self-proclaimed king of punch-up who dropped out of business school.
Highlight Bits & Quotes
12The GroupMe and ExxonMobil Communication Breakdown
The writing team discusses their chaotic communication methods, including Melissa being verified on Instagram and accidentally sending their script to ExxonMobil, whose boss Judy is now interested in the project.
"I have an Android so we can't do an iChat group text."
"GroupMe is tough for me because it's attached to my college email."
"I'm not on the group me! I'm not on the group me!"
"Sometimes Melissa will communicate through ExxonMobil's Instagram account which is just too confusing."
Roses, Thorns, and the Boomerang Email Betrayal
During a 'Roses and Thorns' exercise, the team realizes they all secretly email Quinton to change lines. Quinton reveals that Boomerang email scheduling notifies the recipient, leading to a group panic about looking 'weird.'
"Every time we meet it seems like this script gets less done."
"When you email somebody via Boomerang... it tells them."
"I schedule emails to make them look less weird!"
Melissa's ExxonMobil Side-Hustle and Shawn's 'Punch-Up' Prowess
Melissa reveals she manages social media for ExxonMobil, often outsourcing the creative work to her writing partners. Shawn is introduced as the 'king of punch-up' despite his lack of formal training.
"During the day I do social media for ExxonMobil."
"If every line doesn't have a joke, what are we doing?"
The Synopsis: Goonies Meets 90 Day Fiancé
The team attempts to pitch their screenplay, which involves time-traveling stones and international marriages. They get sidetracked by font choices and a debate over whether the lead is 20 or 60 years old.
"Our comps are Tenet meets 90 Day Fiancé meets Broad City."
"The font of the script is size 12."
The Impossible Logistics of a Four-Person Meeting
The team recounts the absurd scheduling conflicts that have plagued them for years, including gymnastics, a 'swimming pool' open mic, and shifts at Republic of Pies.
"It's called swimming pool, it's an open mic that I do."
"I have 8 p.m. to 11 p.m. blocked off every Saturday and Friday night just in case I get asked out."
The 'One Computer' Method and Structured Small Talk
The group explains their meeting structure, which involves two hours of catching up, 30 minutes of conversation cards about beach balls, and Quinton typing every single word spoken into the master script.
"If you were a beach ball, what beach ball would you be?"
"Every single thing that's said I start writing and so it goes into the script."
The 100% Voice Paradox and the Baby Lollipop Short
Quinton asks what percentage of the script represents each of their voices; everyone claims it is 100% their own voice. Skyler discusses her side project about a baby looking for a lollipop in London.
"I do think it is 100% my voice."
"One about a baby on the streets of London Town looking for his lollipop."
The Crotch-Cutting Girlfriend and the Ring Camera Footage
Quinton accuses Skyler's girlfriend, Magenta, of breaking into his room to cut the crotches out of his pants. Skyler and Shawn attempt to gaslight Quinton into believing he is the one doing it to himself.
"She runs into my room and she cuts the crotch out of all my pants."
"It's easy for us to gaslight her into thinking she is cutting out the crotch of the pants."
The Secret COVID Sex Play
Melissa and Skyler reveal they wrote a singular, cathartic 'sex play' about their own hookup during the 2020 lockdown, which they refuse to let the men read because it is too intimate and was written in a shroom-induced dream state.
"The play is as singular as us fucking and we're not doing that anymore."
"I needed my girlfriend to give me her approval for my sex play."
Two Truths, a Lie, and a Virginity Reveal
Melissa forces Quinton to play Two Truths and a Lie to determine if he actually wants to be a writer. Quinton reveals a disturbing sensory description of writing and a correction regarding the age he lost his virginity.
"When I write sometimes I feel like my hands are covered in pins."
"The lie was that I lost my virginity when I was 14. I lost my virginity when I was 26."
The Catch-22 of Quadruples Therapy
The writing team reveals they are in complex couples therapy to manage their interpersonal beefs, but they can't afford the 'quadruples therapy' specialist in Simi Valley until they sell the script they are too dysfunctional to finish.
"We want to sell the script so we can afford the quadruples therapy, but we can't afford quadruples therapy until we sell the script."
The Four-Person Writing Team Roll Call
The hosts introduce a writing team that breaks the industry standard of duos by having four members. They discuss their long-running project and their availability for late-night packets.
"Typically writing team means two, but this time it's four."