The panel of screenwriters introduces themselves, ranging from Hallmark holiday specialists to avant-garde poets and a man who writes about a student fucking himself through his graduating class.
"I wrote 17 Years Old Period. It's a coming-of-age story about a girl who gets her period at 17."
"Daniel Norway, avant-garde. I write mostly in prose, lyrical poetry, and in silence."
"My name is Ron Buttons. I wrote the screenplay Fuck Run."
Ron Buttons discusses his 'Mating Season' trilogy and the artistic struggle of oscillating between scenes of punching and scenes of fucking, culminating in a title reveal for the third film.
"Nobody's ever punching and fucking at the same time, by the way."
"The title of the trilogy is going to be Mating Season: Fucky Fucky Wow Wow Wow."
"Let's just say a little birdie told me that the title of the trilogy is going to be Mating Season: Fucky Fucky Wow Wow Wow."
The panel reviews a clip from Glen's film featuring Jesse Eisenberg as a man who comforts a group of high school girls during a mass-period event while all other men flee in terror.
"Flen, we have big, yucky periods and we're so happy you're here to help us!"
"How about I go get you seven girls a bunch of Tampax Pearl? We'll go to the tampon aisle."
Shel attempts to address complaints about her reindeer-themed holiday film but accidentally implies she had a personal bestiality experience during a 'near life or death' year.
"I am not addressing the bestiality complaints and I am not allowed to because of my lawyers."
"If anything, you said you had a bestiality experience."
Shel explains her unique writing process for Hallmark movies, which involves Jack Johnson's 'Banana Pancakes' and touching herself under the covers with hot chocolate toppings.
"I put the sprinkles and the whipped cream from the hot chocolate on my hands and I touch myself again."
Ron Buttons' Angry Morning Routine and Jesse Eisenberg's Facebook Origin
Ron Buttons describes his morning routine of eggs, sex, and anger. The group reviews a clip of his film 'Fuck Run' starring Jesse Eisenberg, which inexplicably turns into a Mark Zuckerberg origin story.
