"director and writer of "The Something""
Deret Max plays a clip from 'The Something' featuring Patricia Heaton and Sam Elliott, revealing that Robert Gauze performed all the foley sounds, including wine pouring.
"I got Robert to fill in all of those too."
"It was very Prairie Home Companion."
"Our daughter is fine. Give it a rest."
Host Deret Max introduces a panel of experts who worked on the 2016 horror film 'The Something', including a contortionist, an effects artist, an exorcism consultant, and a VO actor who refused to leave the set.
"I played the something on set. I am a physical actor and a contortionist."
"I was the exorcism consultant for this film."
Director Deret Max explains his 'direct' style, which led to him being banned from panels with the film's leads, Patricia Heaton and Sam Elliott, who now reportedly hate him.
"When I direct something, I've got to be direct."
"Patricia and Sam, they're not—we don't speak anymore."
Deret Max explains the confusing spelling of his name, attributing it to a family tradition of changing last names while maintaining a misspelled first name dating back to 1804.
"It's a family name, Deret. There was a misspelling when my parents moved to California in 1804."
"I'm not disrespecting 14 lines of men with that."
The panel discusses the disastrous decision to cast the 7'2" Lenny Stephens as a small child, inspired by the movie 'Split', which resulted in scathing reviews from Fangoria.
"I didn't know if that was going to work because you are 7'2"."
"Fangoria called it a joke."
The panel introduces the cast and crew of the 2016 horror film 'The Something', including a contortionist, a makeup artist, an exorcism consultant, and a VO artist who wouldn't leave the set.
"I am a physical actor and a contortionist, and I did the something."
"I gave a PA 12 bucks every week to send me the call sheet and I'd show up because this was pre-COVID."
Deret Max explains his 'direct' directing style, which led to the film's leads, Patricia Heaton and Sam Elliott, refusing to appear on the panel due to their mutual hatred of him.
"The moment you started speaking when we put you in that booth, it was like, this is not our guy."
"Patricia and Sam, they're not, we don't speak anymore."
Father O'Malley discusses his role as an exorcism consultant and his primary motivation for taking film gigs: the free Cheez-Its at the craft services table.
"I am always the first to respond for any film gig because I know there's going to be a bag of Cheez-Its for free."
"You were next to crafty because we couldn't get you away from crafty."
Father O'Malley describes a Catholic consultant group chat that functions like a gig-economy app for exorcists, where the primary motivation for taking film jobs is the promise of free Cheez-Its.
"It's sort of like an Assistants Page of Los Angeles sort of deal I'm told where you send any opportunities that come your way."
"I am always the first to respond for any film gig because I know there's going to be a bag of Cheez-Its for free waiting for me."
A series of advertisements for Vuori activewear, Kisqali medication, and GMC trucks interrupt the panel discussion.
"Our listeners can get 20% off your first Vuori purchase at vuori.com/artists"
"We are professional grade."
The hosts return from break with rapid-fire industry platitudes and a philosophical question about the origin of the term 'show business.'
"Fuck, marry, kill: wide shot, two shot, close-up."
"Do you know why they call it show business? I always wondered that."