Doris Badgley
A legendary co-star who has played every receptionist and janitor in network history; known for her fast fists.
Highlight Bits & Quotes
11Nole's Microchip Headshot Pitch
Nole Finkerton describes his failed attempt to help the writers' strike by passing out microchips that implant his acting reel directly into people's bodies, which can then be triggered by a hotkey on their computers.
"I can give you a little prick and microchip you with my reel."
"His voice is going to be implanted in your body forever."
"Put the weird freaking shit in my body I don't give a shit."
Skip's Clean Comedy Cantaloupe Bit
Skip Wantrell demonstrates his 'clean baby' stand-up comedy material, which consists of increasingly confusing comparisons between cantaloupe, Chevy Impalas, and Kim Kardashian.
"Cantaloupe is basically the filler fruit of a fruit salad."
"Cantaloupe is the Kim Kardashian of fruit salads."
"Get up close to it and you see there's a lot of work done."
Nole Finkerton's Apple-Mandated New Zealand Pen
Nole reveals he is contractually held in a pen in New Zealand by Apple producers who also serve as his reps and therapists. He describes a literal shark pit metaphor used during his negotiations.
"I legally contractually they are keeping me in a pen in New Zealand until the strike is over."
"My reps are the producers on the show from Apple."
"They opened up a pit with a bunch of sharks and said see it's a metaphor."
Picket Line Sign Pitches and Actor Whimsy
The group brainstorms strike signs, ranging from Doris's violent 'Kill' slogans to Nole's nonsensical puns, while Skip tries to plug his stand-up tour dates.
"Never stop firing the greatest gun in the world which is a little shotgun I call being yourself."
"Ted Sarandos is the cantaloupe of movies."
"No more lines until we get in line."
Strike for Singles and Picket Line Hookups
Anna Fish explains her initiative to turn the strike into a networking and dating event, leading to a debate about the efficiency of asexual picket lines versus 'sucking and fucking' on the Paramount lot.
"Make love not scripts right now."
"I went to an asexual WGA picket line. The most efficient picket line I've ever been at."
The Toe-Kicking Clause
Doris shares a horror story about a Hulu actress whose contract included a clause allowing producers to kick her in the toes repeatedly before she went on set.
"They had a clause in her contract where they got to kick her in the toes a bunch of times."
"They have her raise her toes up and they kick them up so her toes go up."
Doris's Thousand-Punch Tactic
Doris explains her 'bad cop' negotiation style, which involves punching AMPTP members a thousand times a minute in the arm until they go mentally insane.
"I punch a thousand times a minute. It's like Chinese water torture."
"If you get punched enough times in the arm just slightly... you will go mentally insane."
Skip Finds the Stinky Shirt
Skip ends the strike by finding a specific piece of merchandise that apparently smells like excrement, leading to a sudden wrap-up of the episode.
"Skip found the shirt! You don't have to strike anymore!"
"I found the shirt and it smells like shit."
Doris Badgley: The Fisticuffs Icon
Doris reveals her history as a background actor in every sitcom ever made and her reputation for being so violent in strike negotiations that she has to be handcuffed to Pedro Pascal.
"My fists go faster than a goddamn roadrunner and they know that."
Doris Badgley: The Nepo-Ant of Pen Badgley
Doris explains her unique 'check-mark' career trajectory, revealing she is a 'Nepo-Ant' because her nephew, Pen Badgley, became so successful it afforded her privileges.
The Actors Prepare for the SAG Strike
The panel of actors introduces themselves and their unique acting methods, including the Tzatziki method and the Suzuki method, while expressing their intense readiness to strike.
"I literally feel like there are ants in my feet dragging me to fight for what I need."