Jacques Claude Saint-Pay-Ah-Tailcoat
best known for playing the Conversation Detective.
Highlight Bits & Quotes
8The Mystery of the Season Renewal Knife
Vestibule discovers a shallow knife in her back that reads 'Season Renewal'. The panel attempts to solve the mystery, eventually interrogating a nurse named Jennifer.
"There's a knife in his back."
"It says season renewal on it."
"Why if there was a season renewal would somebody stab them?"
The Clue Summary and the Agent's Arrival
The detectives attempt to synthesize a chaotic list of clues including a 'season renewal' knife and vanilla scents before Todd the Agent arrives to be interrogated.
"Why did a vanilla envelope convince you to stab your boss?"
"I'm walking like an agent, I see."
"A knife that says season renewal."
Blackmail, Bingo Wheels, and Anti-Knives
The interrogation of Todd devolves into bizarre blackmail attempts involving bingo wheels and the revelation of an 'anti-knife' designed to renew victims forever.
"You put your dick in the bingo wheel and you spin it around."
"An anti-knife created by the great scientists of London."
"That's more embarrassing than a bluff about me touching kids."
The Gun Whisperer: Vinnie's Streaming Secret
Vinnie St. Christopher discusses his streaming procedural 'The Barrel', where his character solves crimes by literally speaking to guns, which he claims have biological similarities to oysters and non-binary biologists.
"David Barrel can speak to guns."
"The trigger of the gun is the leg of the gun."
Jacques Claude Saint-Pay-Ah-Tailcoat and The Conversation Detective
Kylie introduces her character, a detective who specializes in solving the mystery of what people were just talking about before they lost their train of thought.
"I have the show The Conversation Detective."
"I come in and I put the pieces together and solve what they were just talking about."
Auntie Hero: The Cozy Mystery Spin-off
Siobhan pitches a cozy British mystery series where an elderly woman solves problems for her endless roster of nieces and nephews-in-law for 300 pounds an episode.
"The only kind of anti-heroes I like are the types that are aunts."
"We will be getting paid up to £300 per episode which I'm quite excited about."
The Final Twist: It Was All a Writing Staff
The detectives reveal their true identities as a writing staff named Dylan and Dillweed before the hosts break character for a Patreon and merch pitch.
"Are you two actually TV detectives or are you a writing staff in disguise?"
"It's me, that's Dylan. And me, Dillweed."
The Elephant in the Room: Vestibule's Christmas Vow
The panel opens with the revelation that Vestibule Science is terminally ill and has vowed to pass away specifically on Christmas Day, leading to a discussion about her prolific career in Christmas-themed detective movies.
"I wasn't going to bring this up, but you have vowed to pass away on Christmas Day of this year."