Jessica Ponytail
lead actress with only 14 lines, plays The Extractor
Highlight Bits & Quotes
9The 14-Line Action Heroine Journey
Jessica Ponytail discusses her character's 'well-rounded' script which mostly consists of grunts and learning that her husband is always right. The group debates if getting punched counts as dialogue lines.
"I think I have about 14 lines. With ums, I'd say 45 lines."
"Every received punch is you saying something."
"Every inflicted wound is a monologue."
Switch Jobs Day and the Falcon Incident
The crew discusses 'Switch Jobs Day' on set, where the director became a falcon handler and the boom operator took over craft services, leading to everything being served on sticks and a falcon pecking someone's nose off.
"I was the Falcon Handler. That was hard for me."
"That was the boom guy taking over crafty. He put everything on a stick."
"Learn what a plate is, my god!"
The Fidget Spinner Dolly Shot
The group analyzes a climactic kiss scene filmed using a 'fidget spinner dolly' system. The resulting clip shows a chaotic, nauseating camera spin ending in the hero punching the heroine to 'extract' her.
"You instead spun the camera very, very slow like this on a fidget spinner to add tension."
"Sirens make me fart."
"You punched the last woman, you bastard!"
The Horizontal Call Sheet and Communist Sets
Tin Allen explains his demand for a non-hierarchical call sheet where everyone is #1, leading to a 60-page horizontal Excel row and a failed experiment in set-design communism.
"We learned that day why communism doesn't work."
"You had to print out 60 pages of horizontal call sheet in a row to be able to read what we were doing."
Jessie: The Gen Alpha DP on Wheels
Jessie, the DP, explains her philosophy of using skateboards, Segways, and motorcycles to capture shots, and her refusal to use the word 'the' in professional terminology.
"A DP doesn't have to be that big of a freaking deal anymore. It could just be a girl on her Segway."
"I learned that in film school really early: drop the 'the'."
The 15-Minute Financier Crisis
The production team reveals they are siphoning money from the Russian government and only have 15 minutes to finish the film before the funding runs dry.
"We have 15 minutes for the last 20 pages."
"The movie is co-funded by us siphoning money off of the Russian government giving money to the Assad regime."
Marvel's Ratfink and Wasp Woman
Jessica Ponytail pitches her new Marvel movie 'Ratfink' about a woman who realizes she hates rats, leading to a discussion about a 'women healing' cinematic universe.
"It's about a lady who gets bit by a rat and she makes her realize she doesn't like rats."
"I'm excited for the Nutty Professor version of this Marvel Universe."
Speed the Plow on a Broadway Plow
Igor reveals he is starring in a David Mamet play that he mistakenly thought was an action movie based on the film Speed, but set on a literal farm plow.
"I thought it was the movie Speed but on a plow."
"The plow needs to stay above 50 miles an hour and you just fly around the stage plowing a field."
The Extraction Team Roll Call
The cast and crew of the action film 'The Extraction Team' introduce themselves, including a director who only plays Russian villains and a DP who refuses to be called a DP.
"Igor Straven, the guy who only plays Russian villains in movies, is going to direct an action movie."