Lady Lavender
Highlight Bits & Quotes
9Derrick's Boring Life Inspires Rihanna's Greatest Hits
Derrick Shooman explains how his mundane struggles, like getting caught in a gust of wind with an umbrella, directly inspire Rihanna's chart-topping singles and music videos.
"I'm so normal and boring she can't figure me out."
"I'm going Rihanna help three weeks later umbrella drops at number one."
The Muse of Pharmaceuticals and Gonorrhea
Lady Lavender reveals she was the muse for a pharmaceutical company in the 80s because she was so diseased, leading to the creation of the gonorrhea cure.
"You have me to thank for the gonorrhea vaccine."
"I was walking around just full-blown gonning all over the place baby."
Lady Lavender's Jumbotron Vagina
Lady Lavender claims her anatomy inspired the shape of the Dodger Stadium Jumbotron after a tryst with Tommy Lasorda, leading to a debate about 1960s baseball management.
"My vagina was the inspiration for the shape of the Jumbotron at the Dodgers Stadium."
"This is coming from the woman who snorts coke like Sudafed."
Muses Anonymous and Song Inspirations
The panel discusses the 'sellout' muses who made money, including the real Shirona, Delilah, and the woman who inspired Andre 3000's flute album.
"I'm the sponsor for Muses Anonymous."
"I am the one who inspired Andre 3000 to release a flute album and I feel bad."
The Muses Become the Mused
The roundtable descends into chaos as the panelists start pitching movies and TikTok skits about each other, while being interrupted by calls from Chuck Lorre and Bob Dylan.
"We've become each other's muses!"
"That's what happens when you go down on a Jumbotron, am I right?"
The Origin of Skeleton Brimblebones
Skeleton Brimblebones reveals she was once a Bavarian bread worker named Elise Thornberry before being struck by lightning and discovered by a teenage Tim Burton.
"He discovered me burrowed into a tree as I was camping and as I was bones."
Lady Lavender's Laurel Canyon Legacy
Lady Lavender recounts her time in the 60s and 70s music scene, claiming responsibility for both the greatest harmonies and the most tragic overdoses of the era.
"I'm the one who got Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young together and I'm the one who got Nash out of it later."
Skeleton's Sharp BDSM Bones and Tim Burton's Cage
Skeleton Brimblebones describes her sexual signature moves involving sharp bones for BDSM and reveals Tim Burton must lock himself in a cage on Halloween to avoid becoming a pumpkin with button eyes.
"The sharp ones are for BDSM for scratching."
The Muses Assemble
The panel of legendary muses introduces themselves, including a reanimated pile of bones and a man who claims to be the inspiration for Rihanna's entire discography.
"My name is Skeleton Brimblebones and I am Tim Burton's muse."