Cookie JJ reveals he was 30 years old while playing 8-year-old boys on Disney Channel, attributing his career to his trademark 'squeaky cheeks' which Disney eventually trademarked and sold in gift shops.
"I was 30 when I got my first role as an eight-year-old boy."
"Disney like made bank on those cheeks. I mean, they trademarked them."
"If you take the average ages of the kids I played, I'm actually kind of younger than you guys."
Richard Ambertine discusses his seven daughters, including Squick (an acronym for Southern Questions In Knowledge), and the underwhelming 'perk' of a single fast pass for the Cars ride despite decades of service.
"I took my daughters, I have seven of them, I took them to Disneyland the other day."
"Squick. It stands for Southern Questions In Knowledge."
Brittney Marker expresses deep resentment over her show 'The Sandwich Shop Around the World' premiering exactly when the towers fell on 9/11, leading to a career defined by bitterness and checkers-based set schooling.
"My Disney show came out on 9/11 almost at the exact time that the towers were hit."
"My set school was bullshit. It was just checkers."
The panel introduces themselves as former Disney Channel stars, including a man who played 8-year-olds while in his thirties and a woman who played a literal sandwich.
"I was known for playing a bunch of little brother roles, just a bunch of mischievous eight-year-old boys, and I was in my thirties the entire time."
"I played the sandwich in The Sandwich Shop Around the World."
Cookie JJ explains how his 'squeaky little cheeks' prevented him from getting adult roles but became a trademarked Disney gift shop staple that he receives no royalties for.
"You got these squeaky little cheeks. You're not 25."
"Disney like made bank on those cheeks. I mean, they trademarked them, you can see them at every Disney gift shop."
Matthew Billy reveals he has seven daughters and explains that his youngest, Squick, is named after an acronym for 'Southern Questions In Knowledge' following a mid-career bus ride epiphany.
"It stands for Southern Questions In Knowledge."
"I realized that the questions, my Southern questions in knowledge, I realized I didn't know too much."
Enrique Velázquez admits to burning down a studio on the Disney lot and describes the executive pressure to perform a specific, sanitized 'Disney' version of his heritage.
"I was the one that burned Studio 23 down at the Disney lot."
"It's apples and oranges, you know? It's Ay Caramba and Ay Carumba."
The panel introduces themselves as former Disney stars, including a 30-year-old who played 8-year-olds, a girl who played a sandwich, and a star whose show premiered during the 9/11 attacks.
"I was known for playing mischievous eight-year-old boys, and I was in my thirties the entire time"
"Big Sandwich Shop Around the World premiered on 9/11 and nobody watched it"
The Arsonist and the First Latin American Disney Star
Enrique Velázquez admits to burning down Studio 23 on the Disney lot and discusses the struggle of being taught how to be 'properly TV Hispanic' by white executives.
"I was the one that burned Studio 23 down at the Disney lot"
The panel revisits the toxic feud between Matthew Billy and Enrique Velázquez, featuring a knife fight on the lot and a YouTube diss track with 40 billion views.
"I'm the one who killed your dog"
"Enrique Velasquez More Like Enrique Velas-Tiny Boy"
