Oliver James
Highlight Bits & Quotes
12The Rizotto Sisters: Finding Father in the Finger Grain
Sally and Linda Rizotto discuss their Food Network show where they search for their dead father's ghost in risotto recipes. They reveal their father patented the 'Finger Grain' during a 90s-style pasta patent boom in Italy.
"We look for our dead father in risotto recipes."
"He patented the finger grain, which is a grain so big and fat it looks like a finger."
"It was like the dot-com boom but for pasta."
The Stove Dome: A Honda-Sponsored Death Trap
The panel describes the chaotic set of their show, the 'Stove Dome,' which features moving stoves, robotic lights, and a 'Wipeout' style obstacle course where contestants fall into giant cakes.
"It is the Stove Dome brought to you by Honda."
"The ball ends up being cake and he falls right through."
"Every four weeks we have a simple cooking challenge... no talking allowed."
The Ghost of Princess Diana as Guest Sommelier
Oliver James explains how he secured the ghost of Princess Diana to judge wine. The panel debates the physical evidence of her presence, including a moving cup and a Ouija board spelling 'SHU'.
"She moved the cup across the room and only in a way Die could."
"I don't believe in ghosts!"
"She spelled out 'SHU'. The word 'SHU'."
The Daily Mail's ADHD Ploy
Sally and Linda discuss how The Daily Mail is trying to force them onto Ritalin by publishing fake prescriptions and having Rite Aid call them incessantly to see a woman fail.
"The Daily Mail said I had ADHD and I think it was just a ploy to get me Ritalin."
"They published the prescription. The Rite Aid kept calling me."
"They really want me on Ritalin because they want to see a woman fail."
Meatball Shark and the Lake Tahoe Future
The panel reminisces about a Greek chef who mistook a meatball shark for a real one, leading to an NPR true crime podcast. They then pivot to the prize: a restaurant in Lake Tahoe.
"NPR is coming out with a crime podcast called Meatball Shark."
"Lake Tahoe is the future of America. It is going to be the next New York City."
"Michelin just released a list. They said we're giving these five chefs three Michelin stars before they even open."
The Risoto Sisters' Paternal Spelling Crisis
Oliver notices the sisters spell their last names differently. They claim they have different fathers and a 'taste-based' search for their true father is the plot of Season 2.
"We have different fathers and so the father that we were searching for, well, he's neither of our fathers."
"We would taste how close we were to our father based on taste alone."
"I am not stressed because I've been strapped to a chair for six months for a reality show that's bleeding me dry."
Netflix Is Eating Something: The Trailer
The panel plays a chaotic trailer for their show featuring chefs from Utah, a 'Stove Dome', falling into lava that turns out to be cake, and tragic backstories involving mozzarella guns.
"Welcome to the Stove Dome!"
"I'm falling into a floor of lava. Oh wait, it's cake."
"What comes out? Nothing but mozzarella."
Oliver James: The Winter Clothing Chef
Oliver James explains his niche as a chef who only wears heavy winter gear, even in Nairobi. He shares a 'behind the scenes' detail about his parka being stitched back together with Slim Jims after a heat stroke incident.
"I always wear big parka, I always wear big snow pants, and I make something in the oven."
"It was stitched with beef, yeah, Slim Jim, which was quite interesting on a safari in Nairobi."
The Lie Detector and Judge Elimination
The panel reveals that judges are hooked to lie detectors and can be eliminated if they lie about their food cravings. They also discuss having 'dead mouth' which makes their cravings unpredictable.
"We can get eliminated if we're lying."
"We all have dead mouth. I can eat a jalapeno covered in Sour Patch Kids and I won't taste anything."
The Risotto Sisters vs. The Daily Mail
Linda and Sally address rumors that they are just two girls who don't know how to grieve looking for risotto. They defend their status as chefs against tabloid journalism.
"These are just two girls who don't know how to grieve looking for risotto everywhere they go."
"Therapy speak is the worst thing to happen to this nation."
The Zooming Chairs and Conveyor Belt Eating
The judges describe their high-intensity chairs that zoom back and forth like Professor X. They reveal they haven't left their chairs in two months due to legal contracts.
"Our chairs zoom back and forth."
"In two months of filming we never left our chairs once. Legally we couldn't leave our chairs."
Netflix Is Eating Something: The Scallion Ranking System
The panel introduces a new Netflix cooking show where dishes are ranked in 'scallions.' They explain the nonsensical math where 4/4 is bad, 5 is best, and 'Caprese' points are awarded for personality.
"Everyone knows on our show, Netflix Is Eating Something, you rank something in scallions."
"I would give this charcuterie board eight out of four scallions."