Rick Crest
aka Principal McNuggins on "Goblin Middle", creator of Crestfallen Whiskey
Highlight Bits & Quotes
9Rick Crest's House Fire Whiskey and Goblin Middle Career
Rick Crest discusses his role on the show Goblin Middle and his new whiskey brand, which tastes like a house fire and is distilled through a car. He reveals his character was killed off after he refused to wear a scaly unitard.
"I started wearing jeans not just as pants but as jackets."
"It burns my throat in a good way."
"It honestly tastes like a house fire."
"Go find another fucking principal."
Sara Eliza Bells' Orange Slice Crackers and Fisher-Price Boardroom
Sara Eliza Bells explains her cracker business, where orange crackers are made from actual orange slices. She describes the intimidating, giant executives at Fisher-Price who run the boardroom like a room full of bouncers.
"The orange crackers are made from orange slices, believe it or not."
"The same thing vegetables can do, so can fruit."
"It was like a room full of bouncers."
Joe Keith's Crypto-Funded 'Party Dude' Movie Trailer
Joe Keith presents a trailer for his new movie, which was entirely funded by NFTs and written by 2,000 different people. The trailer consists of a chaotic montage of outdated internet memes and non-sequiturs.
"Our movie was written by over 2,000 different people who bought into our NFT space."
"I don't like Italians."
"You're telling me a shrimp fried this rice?"
Joe Keith's NFT Portfolio and the Dirty Baboon
Joe Keith presents his NFT collection, featuring 'Dirty Baboons' that look like Dr. Seuss cartoons and a demon racing game. He admits he only likes them because he was told they are funny and worth $700,000.
"I've been told it's funny. I've been told people love it."
"These kids are making money on the internet."
"It looks like a Dr. Seuss cartoon."
Emily Meyers' Horoscope Hardware and 25-Inch Nails
Emily Meyers pitches construction hardware sized by zodiac signs rather than inches. She defends her 25-inch nails by claiming they are better for branding because you can see them sticking out of both sides of the wood.
"Henry, can you hand me a Libra Rising?"
"Everything is either two inches, five inches, or 25 inches."
"Mine is so visible from both sides that they will know you are looking at an Emma's nail."
Crestfallen Whiskey Tasting and Manifest Snacks
Rick Crest surprises the panel with his sulfuric whiskey, leading to a group coughing fit. Sara Eliza Bells attempts to pivot to her 'Manifest Snacks,' which turn out to be rubbery orange-flavored crackers.
"I surprised you guys with some Crestfallen whiskey."
"I'm getting hints of ash."
"It's not an orange, it's a cracker made of orange."
Future Ventures: Nuclear Bombs and Fart Coin
The panelists share their upcoming projects, including Emily's move into the 'nuclear bomb space' for Gen Z, Joe's 'Fart Coin' crypto scam, and Sara's lemon loaf collaboration with Verizon Wireless.
"I would like to be venturing into, fingers crossed, the nuclear bomb space."
"When is your court date?"
"That's why we call it show business."
Roundtable Roll-Call: Celebrity Entrepreneurs
The panel of actors introduces their side businesses, ranging from artisanal whiskey to industrial hardware, establishing their high-status but bizarre entrepreneurial personas.
"Man is the idea of a man has shifted but not in the mouth."
"I decided to create something that is very near and dear to my heart and that is Emma's Nuts and Bolts Company."
Emma's Ephemeral Silicon Hardware
Former child star Emily Meyers explains her hardware company, which produces nuts and bolts made of silicon gel designed to be 'ephemeral' rather than functional.
"I want to make nuts and bolts Gen Z."
"It's gel nuts and gel bolts. It's incredible."