Sailor Pitts Montgomery
His six kids are the "Old Navy Pack", a group of dancers who work largely on Old Navy commercials.
Highlight Bits & Quotes
8The Starburst Commercial Background Artist
Sailor discusses her daughter Elise's career as a background artist in a Starburst commercial, arguing that exposing her to a materialistic industry early will 'crack the code' for her future.
"She is a background artist for non-union industrial commercials."
"I'd say a pusher. I say if she's been pushed, she'll push others."
Sailor Pitts Montgomery and the Old Navy Pack
Sailor Pitts Montgomery introduces himself as the father of six dancers who dominate Old Navy commercials, explaining his unique 'prefix' name and his family's commercial legacy.
"Sailor is my prefix."
"I'm the father of what is known as the Old Navy pack."
Grumpiness is Happiness in Reverse
Dr. Claire Hancock attempts to lead a psychological exercise based on his book, claiming that grumpiness is simply happiness performed in reverse, leading to a confusing group meditation.
"Grumpiness is actually just happiness and performed in reverse."
"If I buy a book and the pack gets a hold of it, it's a coloring book."
Coffee and a Swirl
Dr. Claire Hancock reveals his terminology for casual relationships, calling sex 'swirling,' which the other parents find both confusing and highly specific.
"I call it a coffee and a swirl."
"The coffee is literal. Swirling is relationship."
The Cereal Brain Fart
Dr. Claire Hancock struggles to remember the word 'cereal' while telling a story, referring to it as 'that stuff with milk' and acting genuinely shocked when the group identifies it.
"I just a bowl of this stuff. I don't even know what to call it."
"You seem genuinely surprised to hear the word."
Upcoming Projects and Christmas Light Disputes
The panelists share upcoming projects, including a balloon-popping YouTube show and a Tampa production of Les Mis, while DeeDee rants about a legal dispute over March Christmas lights.
"Let me leave my Christmas lights up. It gives me joy."
"Old Navy to Lay Miz."
The Stage Parent Support Group Convenes
The panel of stage parents introduces the unique hardships of raising child stars in LA, including the lack of free hair and makeup for parents and the struggle for parking passes.
"It's one thing to be a parent. It's a whole other thing to be the parent of a star."
The Parmesan Flavor Remix
Dr. Claire Hancock performs the bridge of the hit song, which devolves into a repetitive 'Yes Chef' chant about Parmesan-flavored Goldfish crackers.
"PARMESAN FLAVOR. YES, CHEF. Parmesan flavor. Yes, chef."