Parents of Child Stars (with Ryan Gaul)
Cast & Characters (5)
Bits & Timeline (18)
The Stage Parent Support Group Convenes
The panel of stage parents introduces the unique hardships of raising child stars in LA, including the lack of free hair and makeup for parents and the struggle for parking passes.
"It's one thing to be a parent. It's a whole other thing to be the parent of a star."
DeeDee Crockett: Stage Parent to a Child Cameraman
DeeDee introduces her son Rocky, the youngest cameraman in Hollywood, who works on the Reba McEntire multicam. She complains that the crew doesn't provide parking for parents.
"My son, Rocky Crockett, is the youngest cameraman in Hollywood. He works camera A on Happy's Place."
Luchia O. and the TikTok Analytics Obsession
Luchia introduces her influencer son Sebastian O. DeeDee constantly interrupts with specific knowledge of Sebastian's analytics despite claiming her own Instagram was hacked.
"He went up 300,000 viewers in 3 weeks, right?"
"DeeDee, these seem like internal metrics for him."
Dr. Claire Hancock's Industry Bible
Dr. Claire Hancock, a therapist for industry children, discusses her 14-hour audiobook 'I Said I Said' (pronounced 'They Said I Said') which she compares to the King James Bible.
"It's spelled I Said I Said, pronounced They Said I Said."
"It's the Bible for children in the industry."
The Starburst Commercial Background Artist
Sailor discusses her daughter Elise's career as a background artist in a Starburst commercial, arguing that exposing her to a materialistic industry early will 'crack the code' for her future.
"She is a background artist for non-union industrial commercials."
"I'd say a pusher. I say if she's been pushed, she'll push others."
Tatiana the Three-Year-Old Pop Star
Gregory McFly describes his toddler daughter's meteoric rise in the pop music world, including her hit album 'Little Bits of Goldfish' and her upcoming Grammy run.
"Tatiana is three and a half."
"There's a lot of bangers on the album. Uh, Little Bits of Goldfish, Goldfish, Crackers in the Car."
Sailor Pitts Montgomery and the Old Navy Pack
Sailor Pitts Montgomery introduces himself as the father of six dancers who dominate Old Navy commercials, explaining his unique 'prefix' name and his family's commercial legacy.
"Sailor is my prefix."
"I'm the father of what is known as the Old Navy pack."
Grumpiness is Happiness in Reverse
Dr. Claire Hancock attempts to lead a psychological exercise based on his book, claiming that grumpiness is simply happiness performed in reverse, leading to a confusing group meditation.
"Grumpiness is actually just happiness and performed in reverse."
"If I buy a book and the pack gets a hold of it, it's a coloring book."
Coffee and a Swirl
Dr. Claire Hancock reveals his terminology for casual relationships, calling sex 'swirling,' which the other parents find both confusing and highly specific.
"I call it a coffee and a swirl."
"The coffee is literal. Swirling is relationship."
Dr. Claire Hancock's Surgical Design Degree
Dr. Claire Hancock reveals that her doctorate is in 'surgical design' and argues that a degree isn't actually required to be a therapist, despite it being a literal legal requirement.
"Oh, I forgot about the rule that you have to have a degree to be a therapist."
The Cereal Brain Fart
Dr. Claire Hancock struggles to remember the word 'cereal' while telling a story, referring to it as 'that stuff with milk' and acting genuinely shocked when the group identifies it.
"I just a bowl of this stuff. I don't even know what to call it."
"You seem genuinely surprised to hear the word."
DeeDee's Daily Routine and the Jones on Third Cover Charge
DeeDee Crockett describes her chaotic morning routine involving a broken Tempur-Pedic bed, fostering eight kittens, and being the only customer at Jones on Third forced to pay a $40 cover charge.
"I'm the first customer at Jones on Third with a cover."
"I bit into it, cut my entire mouth. I look like the fucking Joker."
A Nonlinear Morality Play About New Balances
Dr. Claire Hancock attempts to tell a story about buying shoes for her daughter Elise, but the group forces her to tell it in a nonlinear 'Memento' style, starting with the middle.
"I want middle first, then end, then beginning."
"This is a morality play told in a nonlinear fashion."
Goldfish for the Cracker Man
Dr. Claire Hancock describes a backyard vacation ritual involving 'little hard bread' (crackers) and a bizarre song his daughter Tatiana sings about a 'Cracker Man.'
"Goldfish for the cracker man. I'd like to eat some goldfish. But only if the cracker man gets some, too."
The Parmesan Flavor Remix
Dr. Claire Hancock performs the bridge of the hit song, which devolves into a repetitive 'Yes Chef' chant about Parmesan-flavored Goldfish crackers.
"PARMESAN FLAVOR. YES, CHEF. Parmesan flavor. Yes, chef."
The Most Complicated Mint Mobile Commercial Ever
Dr. Claire Hancock describes a surreal Mint Mobile commercial starring Ryan Reynolds as a ticket man on a train, featuring a confusing plot about post-it notes and deadlines.
"Ryan Reynolds is the ticket man. My bad."
"I got to have a ticket or you can't be on the train."
Upcoming Projects and Christmas Light Disputes
The panelists share upcoming projects, including a balloon-popping YouTube show and a Tampa production of Les Mis, while DeeDee rants about a legal dispute over March Christmas lights.
"Let me leave my Christmas lights up. It gives me joy."
"Old Navy to Lay Miz."
Soup Walla Commercial Study
Dr. Claire Hancock explains that his daughter is taking a 'Soup Walla' class to learn how to make background slurping noises for commercials.
"Soup walla is the background noises and voices and sounds."