Halloween Poets of 2026 (with Jeremy Elder)
Cast & Characters (5)
Bits & Timeline (15)
Halloween Poets Roll Call
The panel of top Halloween poets introduces themselves, featuring the #1 ranked Frankenstein's Monster, who is only seven days old, and the veteran Skeleton Brimblebones.
"You set a record as well because you are the youngest Halloween poet ever. You're technically seven days old."
Boomoi's Blind Items
Boomoi, a masked gossip poet, shares 'anonymous' reports about celebrity breakups, specifically targeting Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez with crude rhymes.
"Man of bat. Spotted with woman of ass."
The Media Training Spell
Frankenstein's Monster attempts to dodge allegations of killing a girl in the woods by chanting 'media training' like a magical incantation to reset the conversation.
"Media training. Media training. Media training. I wasn't there. It's simple as that."
Sara Booreilles' Spooky Musical Theater
Sara Booreilles performs a snippet of her haunting musical 'Weightless-tress,' featuring the terrifying image of a head under a bucket and ingredients for a 'scary pie.'
"Sugar. Blood. Dead towers."
The Sinning Tree
Shel Silverscream discusses his classic work 'The Sinning Tree,' a dark parody of 'The Giving Tree' where a boy takes sins like sloth and envy from a tree until it is a stump.
"Instead of trick-or-treat it should be called sinner-seat."
Skeleton Brimblebones' Outside Lands Love Child
Skeleton Brimblebones reveals he discovered he has a 15-year-old child conceived at the Outside Lands music festival with a woman who was 'just a fox.' The child is vertically split: half skin and half bone.
"I found out, you know, a woman came to me and she said, 'Hey, skeleton, remember that night we shared at outside lands 15 years ago?'"
"The right side looks like her and the skeleton side looks like me."
Halloween Astrology and the Lee Bra Worn by a Witch
The poets discuss their Halloween-specific zodiac signs, including 'Scary Sun,' 'Gem-Eyes,' and 'Virgo into the Graveyard.' Shel Silverscream identifies Boomoi's sign as a 'Lee Bra worn by a witch.'
"My rising from the dead sign is a Virgo into the graveyard."
"That means you're a Lee bra worn by a witch."
Boomoi's Precognitive Monster Mash Scandal
Boomoi reads a poem titled 'Last Night at the Monster Mash' that exposes scandalous secrets about the other guests, leading to accusations that he is a 'precog' spreading dangerous rumors.
"In the bathroom, Frankenstein is a werewolf."
"Rumors are how we know what's real and what's not."
Frankenstein's Monster: The Tall Nepo Baby
Frankenstein's Monster reads his debut poem, which focuses heavily on his height and firm handshake. The group discusses 'Halloween Nepo' allegations regarding his father's influence in the industry.
"Frankenstein, Frankenstein, so tall and green. Frankenstein, Frankenstein, not so mean."
"I don't think the Halloween nepo allegations are true."
Shel Silverscream's Inside-Out Skin Curse
Shel Silverscream reveals he is cursed to have his skin turn inside out every few days after wandering his catamaran into a spooky inlet. He reads a poem inspired by the trauma of the curse.
"Every couple of days my skin turns inside out."
"I'm Shel Silverscream. I run the silver screen."
Skeleton Brimblebones' Emotional Fatherhood Poem
Skeleton Brimblebones reads a deeply vulnerable poem about discovering he is a father on Father's Day and the physical impossibility of playing catch without shattering his bones.
"Nothing scarier than finding out you're a father on Father's Day."
"If one errant ball hits the body, the whole thing is a big pile of bones."
"Can I step up to be the dad I want to eat?"
The Face Paint Bandit Paternity Scandal
Boomoi reveals a rumor that Skeleton's son is actually a con artist known as the Face Paint Bandit. Skeleton admits to paying $15,000 a week in 'child support' converted from bones to USD.
"I'm hearing that might be makeup. I'm hearing skeleton makeup on the other side of their body."
"How much are you paying in child support?"
"About $15,000 a week."
Sara Booreilles' Divorce-Saving Poem
Sara Booreilles performs a snippet of the poem that saved Boomoi's life during his divorce from another 16-year-old, featuring a 'clean scream' and grave imagery.
"Scream how you want to scream and let the blood fall out."
"Honestly, I want to see you in a grave."
Frankenstein's Monster Contemplates Height
Frankenstein's Monster reads a philosophical poem questioning if his identity is tied to his height and whether a short Frankenstein would still offer a plate of worms.
"What if Frankenstein was short? Would be scary, no?"
"Change is always different than what it is right now."
Saving Halloween Poetry from Variety Funding Cuts
After learning Variety might cut funding for Halloween poetry, the group frantically recites their best work, including a Shrek soundtrack parody and a stolen Roald Dahl book.
"Variety doesn't think there's enough money in Halloween poetry."
"All that glitters is bats."
"You're reading Roald Dahl over there. That's not even your book."