Skeleton Brimblebones
muse of Tim Burton, and as Chuck Lorre
Highlight Bits & Quotes
20Skeleton Brimblebones' Emotional Fatherhood Poem
Skeleton Brimblebones reads a deeply vulnerable poem about discovering he is a father on Father's Day and the physical impossibility of playing catch without shattering his bones.
"Nothing scarier than finding out you're a father on Father's Day."
"If one errant ball hits the body, the whole thing is a big pile of bones."
"Can I step up to be the dad I want to eat?"
The Face Paint Bandit Paternity Scandal
Boomoi reveals a rumor that Skeleton's son is actually a con artist known as the Face Paint Bandit. Skeleton admits to paying $15,000 a week in 'child support' converted from bones to USD.
"I'm hearing that might be makeup. I'm hearing skeleton makeup on the other side of their body."
"How much are you paying in child support?"
"About $15,000 a week."
Saving Halloween Poetry from Variety Funding Cuts
After learning Variety might cut funding for Halloween poetry, the group frantically recites their best work, including a Shrek soundtrack parody and a stolen Roald Dahl book.
"Variety doesn't think there's enough money in Halloween poetry."
"All that glitters is bats."
"You're reading Roald Dahl over there. That's not even your book."
Skeleton Brimblebones' Outside Lands Love Child
Skeleton Brimblebones reveals he discovered he has a 15-year-old child conceived at the Outside Lands music festival with a woman who was 'just a fox.' The child is vertically split: half skin and half bone.
"I found out, you know, a woman came to me and she said, 'Hey, skeleton, remember that night we shared at outside lands 15 years ago?'"
"The right side looks like her and the skeleton side looks like me."
Halloween Astrology and the Lee Bra Worn by a Witch
The poets discuss their Halloween-specific zodiac signs, including 'Scary Sun,' 'Gem-Eyes,' and 'Virgo into the Graveyard.' Shel Silverscream identifies Boomoi's sign as a 'Lee Bra worn by a witch.'
"My rising from the dead sign is a Virgo into the graveyard."
"That means you're a Lee bra worn by a witch."
Frankenstein's Monster: The Tall Nepo Baby
Frankenstein's Monster reads his debut poem, which focuses heavily on his height and firm handshake. The group discusses 'Halloween Nepo' allegations regarding his father's influence in the industry.
"Frankenstein, Frankenstein, so tall and green. Frankenstein, Frankenstein, not so mean."
"I don't think the Halloween nepo allegations are true."
Shel Silverscream's Inside-Out Skin Curse
Shel Silverscream reveals he is cursed to have his skin turn inside out every few days after wandering his catamaran into a spooky inlet. He reads a poem inspired by the trauma of the curse.
"Every couple of days my skin turns inside out."
"I'm Shel Silverscream. I run the silver screen."
Frankenstein's Monster Contemplates Height
Frankenstein's Monster reads a philosophical poem questioning if his identity is tied to his height and whether a short Frankenstein would still offer a plate of worms.
"What if Frankenstein was short? Would be scary, no?"
"Change is always different than what it is right now."
The Vibe Tax Exemption and Manta Ray Romano
Gordon Hayward explains his tax-free 'vibe' status before the group discusses the legendary underwater comedian Manta Ray Romano and his signature mother-in-law jokes.
"Ideally they build a church to my vibe."
"I am finally tax-free. I don't have to pay taxes on my vibe."
"Manta Ray Romano's signature joke, more like monster in claw."
Skeleton Brimblebones' Fiscal Quarter Poetry
Skeleton Brimblebones performs a series of poems structured around the financial quarters of the year, including a 'spooky O' in Cabo and the horrors of first scary grade.
"I personally took one to Cabo. Oh, no."
"I walk into first scary grade."
"There's a Halloween in the morning, a Halloween in the evening, and a Halloween in my own head."
The Loch Ness Monster Hip-Hop Musical Pitch
Skin-Manuel Terroranda pitches and performs a snippet of his new hip-hop musical about the Loch Ness Monster, featuring 'drone writing' and a spooky legend.
"Lock me up. Lock lock me up."
"Water water water takes a son and takes a daughters."
"Loch Ness Monster played by Phillipa Boo."
The Second Tense of Barry
Dr. Spooky reads a poem titled 'I Know Where the Sidewalk Gets Scary' and reveals that in his literary universe, the reader is always named Barry.
"It's in your heart. It's in your heart, Barry."
"Who the hell is Barry?"
"You wrote this in second tense, Barry."
The Final Photo and Showbiz Sign-off
The panel attempts to take a promotional photo for Variety, resulting in a chaotic, screaming tableau before the hosts sign off for the night.
"Now that's why we call it show business."
"Good night, Hollywood."
"Happy Halloween!"
In Memoriam: Fallen Halloween Poets
The panel pays tribute to the Halloween poets lost this year, including Scandal Scooby, Scare Jessica Sharker, and the Jonas Boothers who died in a pumpkin accident.
"We lost the Jonas Boothers. I can't believe they all died in that big pumpkin accident."
"For me a ghoul became a sister. Not a monster."
The Great Christmas Poet Rivalry
The Halloween poets reveal they are being hunted by Christmas poets who steal their work, specifically besmirching Walt Whitman and John Steinbeck (Spineback).
"There are people who would wish us harm and they are the Christmas poets."
"They took a song of myself and that's Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas."
Sydney Sweeney's Skeleton Jeans Ad
Skeleton Brimblebones addresses the controversy surrounding her Sydney Sweeney jeans commercial, explaining that using a skeleton model removes the distraction of skin.
"If you have a skeleton model the jeans, it's very clear what you're selling."
"My jeans are bones, my eeks are boo."
Gordon Hayward's Ghostbusters Plagiarism
Gordon Hayward reveals his 'original' award-nominated poetry, which turns out to be the lyrics to Ghostbusters with 'ghosts' replaced by 'mummies' and 'witches'.
"If there's something creepy lurking in your tomb who you going to call? Mummy Punchers."
"Busted makes me feel good."
The Halloween Word Workshop
The poets attempt to workshop everyday words like 'dishwasher' and 'tumbleweed' into spooky equivalents, leading to increasingly nonsensical results like 'piss watcher'.
"Nothing scarier than somebody watching you pee."
"That's a Halloween pervert."
Skeleton Brimblebones' Fiscal Quarter Poetry
Skeleton Brimblebones reads a series of poems based on the second fiscal quarter, featuring 'Eekster Christ' and the realization that cones are the bones of ice cream.
"Eekster Christ, that day he rose."
"Cones are the bones of ice cream."
Slender Man's Broadway Lullaby
Skin-Manuel Terroranda performs a moving lyrical poem about Slender Man finding his 'Slender baby' and stealing kids together in the big woods.
"We'll steal some kids together."
"That's when Slender Man loses his son."