"A psychic medium who gained his powers after being kicked in the temple by a pony; helps people in diverse locations like sock wards and piano stores."
Stefano explains his transition from skeptic to believer after a sexual encounter with a witch. The team reveals his specific sexual attraction to teeth and braces.
"I had sex with a witch."
"Stefano is a teeth guy."
"You used to believe that braces were like panties for teeth, but now you believe they're like jeans."
Veronica explains her ability to 'bro down' with ghosts. She identifies a football player ghost and attempts to dap him up, eventually discovering he just wants to do the Macarena.
"We see ghosts and can bro down with them."
"The saddest thing about the male loneliness epidemic is that it's been happening for years."
"Can I dap you up brother?"
Veronica recounts her solo investigation of a haunted Hooters in Cape Cod, where she encounters a waitress with a tail and discovers the restaurant is freezing cold.
"The Reddit said that that Hooters was haunted."
"Which flavor do ghosts like more?"
"It's so cold in this Hooters."
Tuttle reveals he gained the ability to talk to ghosts after being bucked off a pony and hit in the temple. He lists an increasingly absurd and exhaustive list of locations he helps people with.
"I was bucked off a pony. It nailed me right in the temple."
"I'm helping them where it helps the most, their inner hearts."
The team discusses the 'Ghost Camera Fallacy' and launches a line of merchandise on CafePress with the aggressive slogan 'Suck My Fallacy'.
"Suck my fallacy."
"Find our By Ghostal merch that says suck my fallacy on the front."
Veronica shares a clip of her dressed as a priest in a confessional booth. She encounters a 'ghost' who turns out to be a real finance guy confessing to masturbating at work, which he apparently finds arousing.
"I masturbated at work just now."
"That was a real person who went to the confessional but it looked like a ghost."
The group discusses how Tuttle sounds exactly like Eric Cartman from South Park whenever he gets scared. Casey explains his theory that ghosts don't have ears, so he must use loud 'vibrations' to reach them.
"When Tuttle gets scared, he kind of begins to sound like Cartman."
"I use my vibrations to shock their vibracious innervacious souls."
A clip from a spa investigation reveals Casey experiencing 'chills' that are actually just his stomach growling. The team realizes Casey's wires are crossed: when he is hungry, he becomes horny, and vice versa.
"My hair's standing on end, my penis is standing on end."
"I heard my own grumbling stomach and got aroused."
During a stakeout, Casey is interrupted by a Postmates delivery. The team analyzes the 'spooky' dynamic of a gig worker bringing his wife and an older third person, concluding they are a codependent thruple.
"Nothing is spookier than when a gig worker brings his wife."
"It's lettuce with six sides of bread."
Veronica is possessed by a hungry ballerina spirit from the Venice Beach ballet hall who demands a soul she met 15 years ago in a hospital room.
"I'm only hungry for one thing. It was a food I was introduced to 15 years ago in a hospital room."
"I'm hungry for a soul I met in the hospital room."
In a shocking finale, Tuttle reveals that he has actually been dead for 15 years, leading to a chaotic and screaming conclusion to the episode.
"Tuttle was dead 15 years ago."
"Jeremy's been dead for 20 years."
The hosts introduce the cast of the hotel-room ghost hunting show 'By Ghostal'. The team immediately begins 'hunting' in the podcast studio, using various gadgets that turn red or give nonsensical readings.
"Turn on that spirit box, press record, get that night vision camera on, and let's hunt ghosts."