"A sad crooner known as the 'famous frowny man' who sings about his parents staring at each other."
The quartet of Rat Pack contemporaries, the Mouse Group, introduce themselves with high-energy 1960s Vegas swagger, including Tommy Tuba, Tony Bahama, Joey Scissor, and the perpetually sad Vinnie DelCampo.
"It's me, the R-rated Mouse Group member."
"My name is Joey Scissor and I'm happy to be here with my boys again."
"I'm a crooner. I sing sad songs."
A quartet of 1960s crooners known as The Mouse Group introduce themselves, establishing their dynamic as a blue-collar alternative to the Rat Pack in 1968.
"I'm Tommy Tuba and I am a part of the Mouse Group, founding member and very, very big fan of all my friends."
"It's me, the R-rated Mouse Group member."
"I'm a crooner. I sing sad songs."
Tony Bahama performs 'That's It,' a song about a 32-year-old man in the Great Depression who is convinced he is about to die, which transitions into a story about a French dame named Effie.
"Somebody buy this guy a tombstone."
"It's about being in between two of the knockers of the greatest French dame you ever did see."
Joey Scissor recounts a romantic encounter with Marilyn Monroe involving a meatball dinner immediately following the Kennedy assassination, leading to a song about her thighs.
"We had a meatball dinner after Kennedy's assassination."
"I usually fall in love with the brain or the heart, but I fell in love with the thigh."
Tommy Tuba refuses to explain what Minneapolis is, eventually revealing it is a city where the buildings have a 'bounce back' like flesh when slapped.
"I promise you two things on my grave. One, my mother is a saint. Two, you ain't ever gonna know what Minneapolis is."
"The buildings in Minneapolis are slappable. You slap those booties and you're gonna get a bounce back."
The group discusses their romantic links, including Joey's three Chihuahuas with Maria Banana and Tommy's relationship with a woman named Paul.
"I got three Chihuahuas with Maria Banana."
"Nothing gets my dick harder than a bowl of Stromboli."
Tony Bahama sings 'That's It', a song about a 32-year-old man facing death during the Great Depression, which he claims is actually about a French dame named Effie.
"Somebody buy this guy a tombstone."
"It's about being in between two of the knockers of the greatest French dame you ever did see."
The group mourns the loss of their many dramaturgs, including Catherine Zeta-Jones and Marissa Tomei, who allegedly died of the measles in 1968.
"We are the Mouse Group, but we used to be about 35 to 40. And then all of them have slowly died."
The group breaks into a chaotic, multi-part harmony tribute to 'Dramaturgs', listing famous women they believe are dramaturgs who have recently passed away.