"An agent for tweens who hangs out at malls to scout for athletic 11-year-olds."
The panel of high-powered agents introduces themselves, ranging from non-union commercial representation to a specialist in TikTokers who prepare food directly on their kitchen counters.
"I represent a good deal of TikTokers, the ones that make food on counters"
"I represent comedy, comedy, comedy, comedy"
"Legally speaking, I have no ability to have an opinion on any of the tweens I represent"
The panel of agents introduces their bizarre niches, ranging from non-union commercial actors to TikTokers who exclusively prepare food directly on their kitchen counters.
"I represent a good deal of TikTokers, the ones that make food on counters."
"I represent comedy, comedy, comedy, comedy."
"I'm Chip Donovan and I represent tweens."
The agents discuss the legal hazards of acknowledging their clients' physical appearances, with Chip Donovan noting he has many 'off the record' opinions on his tween roster.
"I'm not trying to get arrested again."
"I have no opinion on what they look like or any sort of sex appeal."
"Legally speaking, I have no ability to have an opinion on any of the tweens I represent."
Kelsey explains the strict requirements for her TikTok roster, emphasizing that food must be spreadable on a counter and never, under any circumstances, touch a stove or oven.
"That's the stove people. I'm strictly counter."
"Corn? That doesn't spread on a counter. It just rolls around."
"I would steer clear of non-cooked parmesan cheese."
The agents engage in their favorite party game: negotiating a hypothetical contract for three soccer-playing tweens on a marble kitchen island for a SpongeBob reboot.
"We're negotiating contracts for fun."
"Are they playing soccer on marble?"
"I am hard for this. This is awesome."
The panel of agents introduces themselves, ranging from non-union commercial specialists to a woman who exclusively represents TikTokers who prepare food directly on their kitchen counters.
"I represent a good deal of TikTokers, the ones that make food on counters."
"I represent comedy, comedy, comedy, comedy."
"I represent tweens."
Kelsey Mumpalo explains her strict criteria for signing TikTokers, emphasizing 'spreadability' and a total ban on anyone who uses a stove or oven.
"Corn doesn't spread on a counter, it just rolls around"
"No, that's the stove people. I'm strictly counter"
Kelsey explains she must taste the counter-food to book clients, while Chip and Len navigate the legal minefield of having opinions on the physical appearance of their respective tween and musician clients.
"I don't like to do anything that could screw with my palate because I got to taste all the food that my people make."
"Legally speaking, I have no ability to have an opinion on any of the tweens I represent."