"aka The Teacher in "O Teacher! My Teacher!""
Dookie Mandankus explains how his serious song 'Far From Alone' became a TikTok meme after a behind-the-scenes clip leaked of him breaking a vase with his face.
"A vase, a vase, I broke a vase with my face!"
"It became the new 'Oh no, our table, it's broken.'"
"They call me Sarah Jody Never Gonna Get An Oscar."
Artie Chalet discusses his role as Eric Carle in 'Brown Bear, Brown Bear,' a film consisting mostly of scissor sounds and wide shots from the perspective of a bear.
"We did use the scissor sound as dialogue."
"AARP Magazine called it the number one movie to check your phone to."
"It was from the point of view of a bear."
A panel of overlooked artists introduce their failed projects, including a bidet-themed biopic and a Civil War drama set during the Great Depression.
"In England, when a performance is good, we say it is shrilling."
"It was about an inner-city school teacher during the Great Depression, but also set during the Civil War."
Dookie explains that his song only went viral on TikTok because of a leaked 'behind the scenes' clip of him breaking a vase with his face.
"A vase, a vase, I broke a vase with my face!"
"It became the new 'Oh no, our table, it's broken.'"
Artie Chalet defends his 36-hour biopic about Eric Carle, which consists mostly of scissor sounds and wide shots from the perspective of a bear.
"AARP Magazine called it the number one movie to check your phone to."
"We did use the scissor sound as dialogue."
The panel of non-nominees introduces themselves, including Dookie Mandankus and Judy Bumpkin, who explains that in England, a good performance is called 'shrilling.'
"In England, when a performance is good, we say it is shrilling."
"I am snubbed."
The panel discusses Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar win, falsely remembering that he sang 'I Dreamed a Dream' from Les Misérables while inside a horse carcass.
"And he sang Les Mis as well."
"Anything to survive, my kid is dead."
Sarah Jodie presents a clip from her film which confusingly takes place during both the Civil War and the Great Depression, featuring a student named John and a dead son.
"I can't believe it's both the Civil War and the Great Depression."
The actors discuss the 'Snubbed' group chat, revealing that Oscar Isaac uses an Android and Marco Polos everyone because he wanted the role of Eric Carle.