Seibert Prescott Onquay
nude-model-in-residence at the White House for Presidents to practice drawing
Highlight Bits & Quotes
8The Magic Skin Eight-Ball
The group discovers that Trent's excess skin can manifest physical letters to answer questions like a Magic 8-Ball, though the process is excruciatingly painful for him.
"Something's coming out of his neck shaping into letters!"
"Skin, oh magical skin... does my wife love me?"
"Head of skincare at Aveeno? It's me! I love you so much!"
"Don't kiss the woman in the skin!"
The Presidential Nude Model's Secret History
Seibert reveals his high-security clearance career modeling for 17 presidents, including a nervous encounter with Jackie O that resulted in a 'full in' retraction.
"I'm counting their first wives and I'm counting vice presidents."
"I was nervous and my penis went in."
"She's seen worse than a penis inserted inside."
The Anatomy of a Donk, Dink, and Dunk
Gary explains his 'type five' comedy set used to ease tension in the studio, leading to a confusing regional debate over the definitions of various anatomical slang terms.
"One person's dunk is another's dink is another's donk."
"A donk is a double dunk."
"I thought the dunk was the ass, the dink was the dick and the dink was the dimple."
Nude Modeling for the Trump Administration
Trent Bryce discusses being on call to model for Donald Trump's second term, noting that Trump was previously too nervous about looking gay to draw nudes.
"He was nervous it looked gay in 2016 but now he doesn't care."
"The Trump staff I've heard is a little like, 'Take it off, why don't you take it off?'"
"I can bench press but you can't tell because I'm so amorphous."
The Perils of Fidgeting While Nude Modeling
The models discuss the extreme physical demands of standing still for hours and the guilt of ruining a student's art education by moving to itch a spot, resulting in 'blurry hand' drawings.
"When you see half the drawings are a one blurry hand you're like oh God you get in the way of their education."
Jimmy Carter's Nude Modeling Eulogy
Seibert shares a bizarre story about modeling for Jimmy Carter, claiming the former president sang Minnie Riperton in his sleep while drawing Seibert's 'balls out' physique.
"My dick was nowhere near the inside at this point because it had learned what to do."
Presidential Limericks and Swimming Boils
Seibert shares a 'post-mortem' limerick about Obama, while Gary reveals she enjoys the backstroke because it makes her boils feel like they are swimming.
"I like the backstroke cuz I feel as if the boils are swimming."
Roundtable Roll-Call: The Nude Models
The hosts introduce a panel of professional nude models, including a community college veteran, a man with a 'Google AI' body, a presidential specialist, and a woman covered in boils.
"My wife is very successful and so I need something to keep me busy."
"You can always see a face in some part of my body that's not my face."
"I am the presidential nude model."