Victor Vincent Vega
an independent casting director for weird roles (VVV Casting)
Highlight Bits & Quotes
7The Seven Full-Body Slates Requirement
The casting directors list their increasingly absurd and contradictory requirements for actor slates, including scoliosis checks, hand inspections, and exactly seven full-body shots.
"I want seven full-body slates and I want them different. Eight would be creepy, seven is fine."
"I need to know if you have scoliosis."
"Five syllables equals one second."
The Doppelgänger Audition
Victor reveals he found actors who look exactly like the panel to audition for them, leading to a meta-scene where the panel gives confusing notes to their own 'lookalikes'.
"I found actors that look exactly like us. I thought they could audition for us."
"I'm a secret casting director in the back. That's what we do sometimes."
"Blank slate. Just for me. And just throw it away."
Happy Hour at the Malibu McDonald's
The panel wraps up the session by listing their prestigious and bizarre post-podcast plans, ranging from drinking Cabernet while ignoring self-tapes to meeting Selma Hayek at Nobu.
"I'm going to go to a wine bar and put self tapes on in the background on mute."
"I'm at that Malibu McDonald's across the street meeting with people who might play the Artful Dodger."
"You will not have my number, I have yours."
The Art of the Mall Scout and Amphibian Eyelids
The panel discusses their 'undercover' methods for finding talent, including mall scouting and a physiological 'casting glimmer' involving secondary eyelids.
"A watched pot never boils and a watched actor never performs."
"They have a second set of eyelids that kind of flip down."
The Cruelty of Being Pinned and Veiled
The casting directors explain the industry terms 'pinned' and 'veil,' revealing that they are primarily used to give actors false hope while forcing them to clear their schedules for jobs they will never get.
"Pinned means that you're almost there and you're not going to ever get there."
"I love putting kids on a veil because then they don't go to school."
Terrible TikTok Advice for Actors
The panel shares the contradictory and nonsensical advice they give on TikTok, from emphasizing the word after a curse to wearing full clown makeup for every audition.
"I don't want 'no shit Sherlock,' I want 'no shit Sherlock!'"
"My advice that I always give on TikTok is up, up, up, up!"
The One That Got Away: Jimmy Buffett and Charles Barkley
The casting directors mourn the loss of legendary casting choices, including Jimmy Buffett as the Phantom of the Opera and Charles Barkley as the fish man in The Shape of Water.
"Charles Barkley is the fish man in Shape of Water."