Industry Tips with Casting Directors (with Mackenzie Barmen)
Cast & Characters (5)
Bits & Timeline (15)
The Keyholders of the Industry
The hosts introduce a panel of influential casting directors, setting a tone of self-importance and industry gatekeeping.
"Today we're sitting down with casting directors."
"Talk process and what it's like to be the keyholders."
The Art of the Mall Scout and Amphibian Eyelids
The panel discusses their 'undercover' methods for finding talent, including mall scouting and a physiological 'casting glimmer' involving secondary eyelids.
"A watched pot never boils and a watched actor never performs."
"They have a second set of eyelids that kind of flip down."
Tiddy: The Queen of FU Casting
Tiddy introduces herself as a 46-year industry veteran who specializes in multicam and 'co-star nation,' boasting about her power and her agency of 12 young blonde girls.
"I work at my own agency with 12 young blonde girls that work below me."
Mindy Mosh and the Body Scan Method
Mindy Mosh explains her casting process, which involves a full body scan starting from the eyebrows down to the feet, prioritizing fragrance over talent.
"The first thing I always look at are the eyebrows."
"Personality is kind of a last resort."
John Jacob Johnson: The A24/Neon Stream Crosser
John Jacob Johnson discusses his independent agency JJJ and his controversial method of making actors feel like they aren't good actors to get the best performance.
"I want you to feel leaving like you don't feel like a good actor."
"I do A24 and Neon and really cross the streams a little bit."
Cassidy Jones: The Kids' Commercial Whiz
Cassidy Jones explains her 'nurturing' technique for casting children, which involves yelling at them like babies to jolt them into a natural performance.
"Kids want to be talked to like they're babies."
"If you don't, your mom's going to be really mad!"
The Cruelty of Being Pinned and Veiled
The casting directors explain the industry terms 'pinned' and 'veil,' revealing that they are primarily used to give actors false hope while forcing them to clear their schedules for jobs they will never get.
"Pinned means that you're almost there and you're not going to ever get there."
"I love putting kids on a veil because then they don't go to school."
The Matchmaker of Fake Projects
Mindy Mosh claims credit for celebrity relationships like Tom Holland and Zendaya, admitting she puts actors in chemistry reads for fake projects just to watch them fall in love.
"I've heard you put them in chemistry reads together for fake projects."
"My job ends when the casting process ends. So anything that happens after that, I turn a blind eye to."
Terrible TikTok Advice for Actors
The panel shares the contradictory and nonsensical advice they give on TikTok, from emphasizing the word after a curse to wearing full clown makeup for every audition.
"I don't want 'no shit Sherlock,' I want 'no shit Sherlock!'"
"My advice that I always give on TikTok is up, up, up, up!"
The CW: Casting Workshops and Naughty Secrets
The group discusses the predatory nature of casting workshops, admitting they use them to pay their mortgages while never actually casting anyone who attends.
"Raise your hand if you pay your mortgage with casting workshops."
"When you bring someone in from a workshop, it gets people buying more workshops."
The One That Got Away: Jimmy Buffett and Charles Barkley
The casting directors mourn the loss of legendary casting choices, including Jimmy Buffett as the Phantom of the Opera and Charles Barkley as the fish man in The Shape of Water.
"Charles Barkley is the fish man in Shape of Water."
The Coca-Cola Freestyle Machine of Casting Data
Mindy Mosh compares the complexity of a soda fountain to the lack of data provided by actors, leading into a heated debate about the frequency and format of actor reels on casting websites.
"How can we invent something that makes all these sodas one and we can't give actors enough data?"
"I want to see a new reel every week."
"Your audition should be shot like a short film. Throw it all away."
The Seven Full-Body Slates Requirement
The casting directors list their increasingly absurd and contradictory requirements for actor slates, including scoliosis checks, hand inspections, and exactly seven full-body shots.
"I want seven full-body slates and I want them different. Eight would be creepy, seven is fine."
"I need to know if you have scoliosis."
"Five syllables equals one second."
The Doppelgänger Audition
Victor reveals he found actors who look exactly like the panel to audition for them, leading to a meta-scene where the panel gives confusing notes to their own 'lookalikes'.
"I found actors that look exactly like us. I thought they could audition for us."
"I'm a secret casting director in the back. That's what we do sometimes."
"Blank slate. Just for me. And just throw it away."
Happy Hour at the Malibu McDonald's
The panel wraps up the session by listing their prestigious and bizarre post-podcast plans, ranging from drinking Cabernet while ignoring self-tapes to meeting Selma Hayek at Nobu.
"I'm going to go to a wine bar and put self tapes on in the background on mute."
"I'm at that Malibu McDonald's across the street meeting with people who might play the Artful Dodger."
"You will not have my number, I have yours."