Halloween Candy Designers
Cast & Characters (4)
Bits & Timeline (15)
The Halloween Consultants of Boo Bradberry and King
The panel introduces themselves as high-level consultants who specialize in making everyday food items spooky for the month of October, including their failed pitch for 'Halloween Potatoes'.
"We're the number one food commodities and treat sector consulting team."
"By the end of this episode, you will understand why Halloween equals potatoes."
"The M in Smickers stands for monster."
The 37-Year-Old Nathaniel McDink
The panel fixates on Nathaniel's age, claiming he is the most '37' person to ever exist, while Leslie insists he is 44 despite everyone agreeing he has a '34' energy.
"You have never met a 37-year-old until Nathaniel McDink walks into the room."
"I act 34, but I am 44. Aging is different now for me."
"What's up every guys?"
The Cursed Woman Dorito and Code Infidelity
The consultants discuss their 'demolishing' of the chip industry, including turning Doritos into the shape of a cursed woman and a failed Mountain Dew flavor based on the fear of cheating on one's wife.
"What if it's not triangle? What if it's a cursed woman?"
"We tried code infidelity."
"Polyamory Mountain Dew. Yes."
Bubble Gum Cobweb Lunchables
The team pitches a 2025 Lunchable covered in bubble gum cobwebs and bat-shaped bologna, while aggressively insulting 'lentil mamas' who prioritize health over Halloween fun.
"This Lunchable has fake cobwebs all over it... bubble gum cobwebs."
"If I see a kid eating lentils, I literally call CPS."
"Tell your parents call the cops on themselves if there is not candy corn in your braces."
The Legend of the Red Vine Bone Man
Marty describes her process of sundrying Red Vines barefoot on a patio to create 'Red Vine Bones' which, according to Slack legend, may come to life on a mountaintop.
"I am doing it barefoot. I am talking to them. I call them my little kids."
"If you put the red vine bone man on the tippy top of a mountain... he might come to life."
The Christmas Candy Designers are Hacks
The Halloween candy designers express their deep-seated resentment for the Christmas team, claiming they are uninventive and have the entire holiday laid out for them while Halloween requires true creativity and fear.
"These little dumb asses walk in, they look at a York Peppermint Patty, they say, 'What if it's an ornament?' It already is an ornament."
Lifting the Veil on Personal Failures
The group discusses their biggest professional and personal failures, including a failed robot-romance novel, a 19-year-old D&D cousin with a business card, and a husband obsessed with a lawnmower.
"That woman who runs Spanx is such a failure."
"It's about time somebody made robots sexy in a Twilight way."
The Spooky Artist's Way: Morning Pages
The designers share their 'morning pages'—a stream-of-consciousness creative exercise that results in increasingly bizarre candy concepts like 'Starburst in debt' and 'M&M jump scare.'
"Starburst in debt."
"Don't open that door. It's one M&M."
The TGI Fridays Halloween Menu Disaster
The team recounts their failed partnership with TGI Fridays, which included unappetizing items like 'Potato Witches' and the deal-breaking 'French Onion Poop.'
"French onion poop. That kind of set most people off."
"You ever see a 23-year-old brand manager of TGI Friday's smile drop off their face?"
Vampire Vanilla and Spooky Spices
The group attempts a group morning pages exercise, leading to a breakthrough pitch for 'Vampire Vanilla' and a line of spooky spices for McCormick.
"Skeleton paprika. Come on."
"Vampire vanilla. The essence of vanilla. We make it vampire."
The Milky Way and Whimo Brand Merger
The designers discuss the confusing logistics of a brand merger between Milky Way and Whimo, resulting in a disturbing parental sex metaphor and the failed 'Hershey Wolf' Shakira collaboration.
"We're either making a Milky Way Whimo or we're filling a Whimo with milk."
"I shouldn't have seen Milky Way and Whimo ideating."
"Hershey Wolf there in the closet."
The Failed Wednesday Account and the Date Conference
The team mourns losing the Netflix 'Wednesday' account to Wendy's and recounts a disastrous three-week 'all-you-can-date' conference that left them with severe digestive issues.
"They said you guys are aging you're pitching us dates."
"We were using the bathroom a lot."
"We love Jenna Ortega he's a once in a lifetime talent."
2025: The Year of the Halloween Potato
Despite massive bribes from Lays and the State of Idaho, the designers insist that turning potatoes into candy is a purely artistic choice involving 'fully bloated' water-logged spuds.
"Idaho the state has also given us a huge lump sum."
"Potato is a candy now."
"We're adding water to potatoes and it freaks me out."
The Great Potato-O-Lantern Debate
A heated linguistic argument breaks out over whether to keep the 'O' in 'Potato-O-Lantern,' leading to threats of eye-clawing and a bizarre tangent about Tate McRae.
"I will claw your eyes out."
"It makes us look ignorant and neglectful."
"What is a patat?"
Rapid Fire Halloween Candy Release
The designers close the show by shouting out their new lineup, including 'Flesh-flavored Twix' and 'Sour Patch Kids shaped like the clown from IT.'
"Flesh-flavored Twix."
"Milky Way Cults, there's seven of them and they're staring at you through a window."