BLUE MAN GROUP
Cast & Characters (4)
Bits & Timeline (15)
The Blue Man Group Breaks Character
The panel begins with the Blue Man Group performers staring silently in character before suddenly breaking into casual, foul-mouthed 'off the clock' banter about their BTS process.
"We're fucking with you. Joking. We're off the clock."
"Out of the blue, in the blue."
Sapiosexual Blue Men and Work-Life Boundaries
Gene asks the group if they ever have sex while wearing the blue makeup, leading Chester to explain his sapiosexual nature and his refusal to bring his 'work uniform' into the bedroom.
"Y'all ever fuck them blue?"
"I am sapiosexual. I am aroused by an intellectual conversation."
"You don't ask a sanitation worker to come in in his jumpsuit."
The Jean Jacket Controversy and Blue Man HR
Gene criticizes Danielle for wearing a denim jacket instead of the agreed-upon black long sleeves, sparking a debate about individuality versus the group's uniform aesthetic.
"I really thought we agreed on black long sleeves and one of us showed up in a jean jacket."
"Stop trying to make this our bit. This isn't. We're individuals."
"We have a great conflict mediator at Blue Man Group. Sarah's amazing."
Chester's 35-Year Tenure and Blue Man Pension
Chester discusses his long history with the group, his impending retirement, and the specific benefits of 'Blue Man Blue Shield' insurance.
"I have about three years until I qualify for pension."
"It's Blue Man Blue Shield. Really good dental, bad everything else."
"I saw us made fun of on national television on Arrested Development."
The Art of Intentional Cereal Eating
Glenn gets emotional about his 32-year tenure and explains the artistic philosophy of making a 'choice' during the group's famous cereal-eating bit.
"I learned how to eat cereal from you, Glenn."
"Be intentional. Make a choice. Every single crunch is making a statement."
"That divides the mediocre blue men and the extraordinary blue men."
The Hardships of Being a Blue Woman
Danielle explains the unique struggles of being a woman in the Blue Man Group, specifically how the paint slides off her face in a patchier style compared to the men.
"The paint slides off your face more."
"I just have to put on twice as much makeup as the men just to get half as far."
Toxic Blue Romance and the Kids Choice Awards
The group reveals that Glenn and Danielle used to date, leading to a discussion about having sex while in blue paint and their shared history at the Kids Choice Awards.
"Y'all ever fucked in blue?"
"Of course you want to kiss your coworker when you're at the Kids Choice Awards."
The Patreon Intermission
The performers break character to promote their Patreon, discussing after-shows and Jeremy's twelve-week dancing marathon.
"Jeremy danced for 12 weeks straight one time."
"We put in way more work than we need to."
The Blue Man Group After-Hours Itinerary
Gene describes a wild night in Vegas where the group uses their perfect poker faces to win big and Danielle accidentally reveals she's been accepting bribes to speak.
"We have the best poker faces in the game."
"Are you accepting bribes to speak in blue?"
The 80s: Cocaine, Kegs, and Gordon Ramsay
The group reminisces about the wild 1980s era of the Blue Man Group, involving heavy drug use and Glenn getting arrested for shoving a cop into a sewer.
"We were doing cocaine every day."
"I tried to shove him into a sewer."
The Egg Count Challenge
Gene and Danielle engage in a heated debate over how many ways one can order an egg, leading to a high-stakes $100,000 bet while Chester begs to talk about literally anything else.
"You don't say, 'How do you like your eggs?' French toast."
"Please, God. Please. We have so many cool interesting things we could be talking about."
Blue Man Rockstar Stories
The group shares increasingly absurd 'rockstar' stories from their career, including seeing under Michelle Obama's dress and being choked by gladiator ghosts in the Colosseum.
"An army of gladiator ghosts tried to choke us and suck our dicks."
"I accidentally pulled Edward Snowden's phone and I saw all the information about the whistleblowing."
The 22 Salads Gauntlet
Gene and Danielle attempt to name 22 distinct salads to settle their bet, resulting in desperate inclusions like 'Blue Man Salad' (a drug cocktail) and 'Candy Salad'.
"We used to combine heroin, cocaine, and ketamine. We called it a blue man salad."
"I'd say vegan nachos in some way is a salad."
"You've wasted so much of this interview resisting."
The Silent Language of Blue
The performers break into a long, synchronized sequence of silent physical comedy and 'telepathic' communication, completely ignoring the host's attempts to discuss their process.
"We have a telepathic language where we can communicate entire speeches."
"I guess Blue Man remains a secret, doesn't it?"
The Blue Man Cleaning Ritual
The group concludes the live show with a chaotic cleaning ritual involving spray bottles and rhythmic grunting before a final synchronized sign-off.
"And that's learning."
"Now that's why they call it show business live from the beautiful Dynasty Typewriter."