Academy Awards Voters on Picking The Oscar Winners
Cast & Characters (4)
Bits & Timeline (13)
The Academy's Christmas: FYC Packages and Hidden Figures Beach Balls
The voters discuss the 'Christmas' of Oscar season, where they are showered with bribes and FYC packages, including a persistent clerical error resulting in endless Hidden Figures screenplays and beach balls.
"Hidden Figures sent me a beach ball last week."
"It's when a screenwriter loves a director so much that they make the decision to bring a movie into this world."
Madame Web's Secret Identity and the La La Land Trauma
Kylie Brakeman introduces her character, Madame Web, who insists on a code name to avoid being 'hunted' or 'corrupted' and reveals her deep psychological trauma from the La La Land/Moonlight Best Picture mix-up.
"I would like to be known as Madame Web."
"Maybe I filled out a form wrong and I was the last vote and suddenly I had to go into therapy for years."
Babygirl's Hoverglide Accident and Emma Stone Obsession
Babygirl reveals she only votes for Emma Stone in every single category, including Best Visual Effects, as a result of a traumatic hoverglide accident.
"Ever since then I only vote for Emma Stone."
"Best visual effects this year? Emma freaking Stone."
The Sleeper Cell Word and the Chipotle Kill Button
Madame Web explains her 'sleeper cell' voting method where a random word triggers a Best Picture vote, while an 'anti-word' like 'prosciutto' acts as a kill button that makes her burn her ballot.
"It's a sleeper cell word. I am powerless."
"If you're setting your Sopranos movie at a deli, good luck. I see right through that."
The Wicket vs. Wicked Debate
The Academy voters argue over the correct pronunciation and spelling of the movie 'Wicked', revealing they don't look at posters because they are 'the devil' and manipulative.
"Woman taking depressing bath? I am locked in."
"Same line said at the end? Now it's a big deal."
"Posters are the devil they're manipulative posters try to make you feel something I want to know what's happening in the movie"
"I saw a movie called Wicked so I think you may have seen Wicked"
The Thickening Agent of Bisney
Jeremy reveals his backstory as a producer at 'Bisney' (Disney) where his primary job was acting as a 'thickening agent' to make female characters and Wreck-It Ralph significantly thicker.
"I was in charge of making most of the female characters thicker"
"The thickening agent is here put for dunk in the trunk"
Voting for Fingers
The panel conducts a mini-vote using Jeremy's fingers as proxies for Best Picture nominees, debating the merits of 'Pinky' versus 'Middle Finger' and 'Ring Finger'.
"Pinky has been accused of sexual misconduct we can ignore it"
"Middle finger pulled what we call a green book"
Shit Line Producers Say and Gaffer Memes
The voters discuss industry-specific meme accounts like 'Shit Line Producers Say' and 'Gafstagram', highlighting the bizarre internal culture of film crews.
"Put your sandwich down those are for the actors"
"It's called Gafstagram it's the Instagram meme account for Gaffers"
Puppy Style Voting
Jeremy explains his unique voting method called 'Puppy Style' where he picks award winners based on which bowl has a treat in front of it.
"Puppy style is they put all of them out and they put a treat and I get to pick the treat"
"It was so fun to pick Timothy Chalamet this year as the puppy"
The Unfiltered Oscar Predictions
The panel goes through a rapid-fire list of current films, offering nonsensical reasons for their votes, including a tragic bonobo attack at a Robbie Williams press event.
"Nosferatu make me think that man dead but that dick really living"
"They brought a bunch of bonobos and they ripped people apart"
"I got a sex worker from Anora and I didn't know what to do with it"
"I got a Sleep Number Serta coffin from Nosferatu"
The Service Animal Vest Strategy
Babygirl reveals she wears a service animal vest to the Oscars so that people won't pet her while she is working as a voter.
"When I'm at the Oscars I'm wearing like a service animal thing where it's like she's working"
"Do not pet her"
"Hollywood's biggest night we're employees"
The Bitch Nanny Vendetta
Babygirl derails the Oscar discussion to air her personal grievances against a nanny in her building who she claims is stealing her packages.
"There's a little nanny in my building and I just think she's a bitch"
"I hope Emma Stone kills that bitch nanny"
"God forbid a movie was about a nanny"
The 'They Don't Have One Yet' Multiplier
The voters admit they often vote based on who is due for an award or who looks the most physically miserable on screen.
"Leo doesn't have an Oscar yet"
"It's the they don't have one yet multiplier"
"I tend to vote for whoever looks the most mean on screen"