Country Music Legends
Cast & Characters (4)
Bits & Timeline (13)
Introducing Jimmy Coins and the Big City Bus
Jimmy Coins introduces himself as a country legend and performs his hit song 'Big City Bus' while Donnie Shadow shuffles cards menacingly in the background.
"Life's a game of chance and I'm playing right now."
"There's a big city bus with my name on it."
The 43-Year Marriage of the Coins
Martha Bay Coin is introduced as Jimmy's wife and duet partner. They discuss their 43-year marriage and perform a snippet of 'Going to the Chapel' which led to a Motown lawsuit.
"I know to a T we've been together 43 years exactly to the date."
"The court said we're fine, we settled out of it."
Donnie Shadow: Country Music's Dark Night
Donnie Shadow introduces his brooding persona, singing about things other artists fear to touch, including a song that nearly got him sued by Joni Mitchell.
"They call me country music's dark night."
"I'm just a lonely traveler traveling, traveling, traveling."
Minnie Wyoming and the Finger Cancer Saga
Minnie Wyoming introduces herself and immediately begins bickering with her ex-husband Donnie Shadow about his refusal to operate on his 'finger cancer' (melanoma).
"He has cancer in his fingers."
"I call it fingers cancer."
Minnie's Hannah Montana Legacy
Minnie Wyoming reveals she played Miley Cyrus's great-great-great aunt on Hannah Montana and performs her hit 'Amazing Grace But What If'.
"I did a co-star on Hannah Montana when Dolly Parton had to take a week off."
"Amazing Grace how sweet the sound but what if I went to school?"
Postpartum Diaper Phobia and Blue Grass Blue Cow
Jimmy and Martha recount Jimmy's extreme postpartum depression triggered by poopy diapers. Minnie performs her song 'Blue Grass Blue Cow,' which features her vocalizing the guitar parts.
"I was very postpartum. I was extremely postpartum."
"He'd say, 'No, no, no, Martha, I'm going to clean the diaper.'"
"There's a sound in his voice when I ask him to change the poopy diaper."
The Mystery of Alka Seltzer and Call Her Daddy
Donnie reveals he has a new girlfriend named Alka Seltzer, a Norwegian model. Minnie is devastated to learn that Alka went on the 'Call Her Daddy' podcast to discuss their engagement ring shopping.
"Her name is filthy with umlauts all over it."
"I can't believe Alka Seltzer went on Call Her Daddy."
"Umlauts are like freckles on her name."
The Huddle and the Ring Shopping Song
Martha and Minnie huddle to discuss how to emotionally handle Donnie's new song. Donnie performs 'Ring Shopping' a cappella while Minnie plugs her ears with her pinkies to avoid 'hearing' it.
"Act like you're so ready for it that you don't even notice."
"I'm seeing a ring on her hand and thinking about another."
"Make sure your pinkies don't cover your entire ear hole."
The Call Her Daddy Clip and Podcast Poetry
The group listens to a clip of Alka Seltzer on Call Her Daddy, which reveals Donnie was actually present during the interview. Martha and Jimmy are moved to tears by the 'poetry' of the podcast.
"I thought it was just Alka Seltzer on the podcast, but it seems like I was there."
"That podcast danced like no one could."
Country Magic Card Reveal
Donnie and Minnie decide their future through 'country magic' by drawing cards. They both pull hearts, leading to a romantic but suspicious reconciliation.
"Whoever has the highest card gets to choose how we love each other."
"I gave you Queen of Hearts on purpose because you're my Queen of Hearts."
"I've been jacking off thinking about your heart."
The 83-Year-Old Pregnancy Miracle
Martha drops her purse to reveal a positive pregnancy test, claiming she and Jimmy conceived at a continental breakfast despite their advanced age.
"I'm having baby number four and I'm 83 years old."
"We made love at the continental breakfast near the Country Music Hall of Fame."
Jimmy Signs Up for the Draft
In a sudden dramatic shift, Jimmy announces he has signed up for the military draft in 1973, prompting a patriotic and desperate musical finale.
"I've signed up for the draft."
"Don't go to the draft!"
The Devil's Eyelid Tattoo
As the episode concludes, Donnie reveals a tiny cross tattoo under his eyelid, which the others immediately identify as a sign of the devil.
"It looks like a little mark."
"Oh my God, it's the devil!"