Damien Haas
Guest1 episodeCharacters
1
Highlight Bits
11Mitchell's 'Authentic' SAG-Regulated Field Trips
Mitchell Franks defends his 'authentic' streams where he happens to find his long-lost grandpa in a park, despite footage showing him paying 'actors' SAG-AFTRA day rates.
"I follow SAG union rules because SAG New Media is a big thing."
"It shows you paying those people like a SAG rate."
"I don't have any merchandising on my shirts because I'm like you get to create the story"
"The nice thing about living in international waters just off the coast of Brisbane"
Roundtable Roll-Call: The Streamer Powerhouses
The panel of internet streamers introduces themselves, ranging from a sleep-streamer to a woman who sits on fried chicken for her 'chicken idiots' fan base.
"I make fried chicken and then I sit on it."
"I'm Guyler St Beef, I'm all the way from Australia."
"I do streams watching my boyfriend play video games."
The Health and Wellness of Chugging Liquid Potassium
Guyler St Beef discusses his brand of liquid potassium and his mental health advocacy, while Kyler brags about chugging a gallon of it in 30 seconds.
"It's a liquid potassium which is a highly reactive metal."
"I've chugged liquid potassium before. I took a gallon in 30 seconds actually."
The Lithium Prescription Apology Stream
Guyler St Beef issues a formal apology for illegally prescribing lithium to his viewers, revealing his father owns a lithium mine and communicates only through brand deals.
"You prescribed lithium to someone!"
"My dad owns a lithium mine. He only communicates to me through brand deals."
Mitchell Franks' Problematic Character: Bitch McLady
Mitchell addresses his cancellation over a YouTube character named Bitch McLady, a woman so stupid she tries to make grilled cheese in a toaster.
"You played that character Bitch McLady"
"She kept trying to make a grilled cheese sandwich in the toaster but she was too stupid because her boobs were too big"
Guyler's Digital Ankle Monitor and Genevieve's Flip-Flop Stream
Guyler discusses his toxic breakup with Genevieve, which resulted in a Chrome extension restraining order that alerts the court if his face appears on her screen.
"She has an add-on in her Chrome that if my face shows up on her screen it alerts the court"
"Her flip-flop stream is kind of good though where she wears flip-flops and then she flip-flops on political stuff"
Paula's Chicken-Sitting Scandal
Paula recounts being banned from Twitch for sitting on her camera and showing her anatomy instead of the fried chicken her 'Chicken Idiots' fan base demanded.
"I showed my asshole. Twitch took me off, my camera broke, my followers were like where's the chicken?"
"My asset is not my only asset"
Mitchell's 24/7 Sleep Stream Persona
Mitchell demonstrates his 'sleep stream' which involves him staring intensely at the camera while making geese-like honking sounds, claiming it's his authentic self.
"Your sleep stream is you doing this?"
"If you're gonna honk shoe at least you have to me-me-me"
Final Sign-Offs and Liquid Potassium Pitches
The streamers give their final plugs. Guyler pitches his liquid potassium to 12-year-olds starting militias, while Paula flashes the camera to her 'chicken idiots.'
"Try to buy some of my liquid potassium and if you're 12 and you're mad and you're starting a militia, stop it."
"Hey chicken idiot, here's my ass!"
The Nurse Wife and the Overseas Manatee Hospital
Guyler St Beef explains his domestic life on the boat, revealing his wife is a nurse who works at an overseas hospital specifically for sick manatees with 'Manatee COVID.'
"She definitely works in an overseas hospital for Atlanteans and mermaids and all these sick manatees that have Manatee COVID."
Live Chicken Hate Mail and the 'Sit On Me' Post-It
Paula describes the extreme lengths her 'chicken idiot' fans go to, including sending handwritten hate mail and delivering live chickens to her at restaurants with suggestive notes.
"The waitress will come up to me and have a live chicken in her hand and say this is from the guy over there with a post-it that says sit on me bitch."