"host of "The Celebrity Roundup""
Emily Movies attempts to fulfill a sponsorship requirement by asking the panel for their 'messy life moments' that they made clean with Clorox.
"How do you Clorox clean? As in, what was a messy life in your moment that you made clean?"
"My messy moment was when my father was on his deathbed."
"I went home and bleached my sink and toilet. And I felt better with Clorox."
The panel introduces their various niche media outlets, ranging from YouTube's Extra Extra Extra to the hyper-local East Hollywood Reporter which only covers a two-block radius.
"Extra Extra Extra is YouTube's version of Extra."
"I work for the East Hollywood Reporter, where we cover everything from the Los Feliz 3 to the Vista."
"It's like being a Marine and then going to Iraq because you're a fan of fighting."
Stylist Darius Walker reveals his secret to affordable high fashion: a staff of three-year-olds who work for packs of gum and are currently in creative control of his preschool-oriented aesthetic.
"This year I've got a staff of all three-year-olds, and their fashion instincts are impeccable."
"They work for a pack of gum, so they're really affordable."
"Let the glue dry, you know what I mean?"
Emily Movies attempts to force a viral marketing moment for Clorox by asking the panel to share their 'messy' life stories that they eventually 'cleaned' with bleach.
"How do you Clorox clean? As in what was a messy life in your moment that you made clean?"
"My messy moment was when my father was on his deathbed and I asked him, 'Does he love you?' and he just looked away and died."
"I killed it with Clorox."
The panel of red carpet correspondents introduces themselves, including a stylist who employs toddlers and a reporter who only covers two blocks of East Hollywood.
"I'm Mama Junior and I work at Extra Extra Extra."
"I work for the East Hollywood Reporter, where we cover everything from the Los Feliz 3 to the Vista."
Darius Walker explains his avant-garde styling process which involves giving celebrities like Penelope Cruz crayons and 'squirty gum' to help them draw their feelings.
"I just give them like a pad and some crayons and say, draw how you want to look."
"Cranelope Cruz, if you don't mind."
Emily Movies reboots her system while Grey Gray recounts being literally shot by Annette Bening on a red carpet, resulting in a kidney loss that no one in Hollywood would help with.
"I have to reboot myself every 20 minutes."
"Annette Bening pulled out a gun on me!"
Luciano Gorgonzola discusses his polyamorous lifestyle, which currently involves dating a bungalow in Atwater Village.
"I'm dating this lovely little bungalow in Atwater."
Stylist Darius Walker reveals his secret to success: a staff of three-year-olds who work for sugar bursts and juice-filled gum.