Improvised Roundtables, Ep 61: Knotts Scary Farm Actors
Cast & Characters (4)
Bits & Timeline (14)
Roundtable Introductions: The Scare Actors of Knott's Scary Farm
The panel introduces themselves as professional scare actors, including a 'slider' who creates sparks, a rookie in the Fright House, a man who has played Charlie Brown with a knife for four years, and a veteran 'Pig on a Bike'.
"I play Charlie Brown with a knife."
"I ride my bike around and I'm a pig on a bike."
"I am buff and I am like very tight but it is because it is important for me for my job."
The Evolution of Pig on a Bike
Paul Unkins explains his high-performance scare tactics, including using a Tour de France speed bike to reach 40mph while wearing a 75-pound pig costume to elicit confusion, which he equates to fear.
"Confusion is fear. That's the theme this year."
"Now you're hitting 30 to 40 miles an hour."
"I've heard people going, 'Was that a pig?'"
Security Epidemics and the Hit-and-Run Reveal
The actors discuss the 'epidemic of roughhousing' by teenagers with fake IDs. Benjamin Goder accidentally reveals he was involved in a hit-and-run that might be the reason a guest punched him in the face.
"I was involved in a hit and run a couple years ago."
"He did say 'F you Benjamin, F you for what you did to my dad.'"
"Apparently somebody else died in the car, I don't know."
America's Funniest Home Videos and Tom Bergeron
Danny Blevins recounts winning AFHV after sliding over tacks, though he didn't get the money. The group expresses deep reverence for Tom Bergeron and Tom Brokaw's disruptive small talk at the park.
"The video called 'Scare Actor Sliding on Tacks' won America's Funniest Home Videos."
"Tom Bergeron... he is America's dad."
"I would rather get the Knott's punch from him than for him to slow down the line."
Halloween Law and the Shawn Mendes Incident
Alyssa Ronald recounts a time Shawn Mendes and his entourage went through the Fright Zone 42 times while smoking marijuana, leading to the revelation of 'Halloween Law' which protects guests' right to smoke weed in theme parks.
"Halloween law is very different than other types of law."
"Your hands are tied. Halloween tied."
"That's Shawn Mendes, he can do whatever he wants."
Charlie Brown with a Knife: Avant-Garde Poetry
Benjamin Goder discusses his struggle to find depth in his role as Charlie Brown with a knife, performing a piece of 'freaky poetry' in character that explores the existential dread of being a killer mascot.
"Snoopy, why do I have this knife? I guess it's to kill people."
"I just always thought Charlie Brown would be more of an avant-gardest."
The Boysenberry King and Knott's Berry Farm College
Danny Blevins reveals his off-season role as the Boysenberry King and discusses the prestigious Knott's Berry Farm College, where students earn degrees in being an 'Otter'.
"I'm boysenberry King every year."
"You get a degree for being an otter."
"I applied and I applied and I could not get in."
The Cutthroat Scare Audition and Boo Songs
Alyssa Ronald describes the intense multi-round audition process for scare actors, including the 'Boo Song' requirement where performers must sing 16 bars of a pop song using only the word 'Boo'.
"I was the only one who did the accent."
"You take a 16 bar of any song but you have to replace it with the word boo."
"You're going to Valencia."
The Two Golden Rules of Knott's Berry Farm
The panel discusses the strict code of conduct at the park, specifically the rule against being a 'bitch on the phone', which is enshrined on cafeteria trays and bathroom walls.
"Don't be a bitch on the phone."
"Treat others the way you want to be treated."
"I stole one of the trays to take home so that I would always remember."
The Straight Slider Community
Danny Blevins explains the intense, rhythmic world of 'Sliders' at the park, revealing the shocking statistical anomaly that every single slider in his 30-man crew is a straight man.
"Are we all straight? That is insane."
"We're all sliding on a rhythm."
"It's like a biker gang."
"My Boo song was Let's Give Them Something to Talk About"
Charlie Brown with a Knife
Benjamin reveals that his head has grown so large it fills his hoodie, leading the elders to describe his essence as 'Charlie Brown with a knife' while he contemplates life in the parking lot.
"They say you're just Charlie Brown with a knife"
"I'm out in the parking lot with my knife"
"My head has grown weirdly a lot"
The Cowboy Pig Lasso Incident
The group reminisces about the year Paul Unkins was a 'Cowboy Pig' on a bike and accidentally lassoed a baby out of a stroller, thinking it was a woman's purse.
"I thought it was a woman's purse because I do that a lot"
"Cowboy Pig was a menace"
"I'm running out of ways to make a pig on a bike different"
Bringing Grace Back to Knott's
The actors lament the loss of 'Grace' among park visitors and recall their formal etiquette training and cotillions required for the Knott's Berry Farm college program.
"We need to bring Grace back to Knott's"
"We took etiquette classes and we had a cotillion"
"Technically I slid out of my mom on my knees"
The Final Boo Song Reveal
Benjamin Goder closes the show with his second 'Boo Song' audition, which turns out to be a 'Boo' version of Metallica's 'Enter Sandman'.
"That was Metallica's Sandman"
"I went for a risk"