Improvised Roundtables, ep 60: Documentarians
Cast & Characters (4)
Bits & Timeline (14)
Documentarian Roundtable Roll-Call
The panel of documentarians introduces themselves, including Ron Wold, a historian of posters, and Liam Michaels, who followed middle school sailing teams to Costa Rica.
"My new documentary, the history of posters in 12 parts, is coming out pretty soon."
"I did a little Netflix series called Sales where we followed middle school sale teams."
Augusto Spoons and the Glass Box of Bats
Augusto Spoons describes his experimental documentary where he sat in a glass box for 60 days, eventually revealing the box was filled with bats as a studio-mandated 'discovery'.
"I get into a glass box, lock myself inside and sit there for 60 days."
"Glass cage filled to the brim with bats. What happens to a man?"
The Surfer Murderer Mystery
Kyler Byler pitches his documentary about a surfing trip where a friend was murdered, though the only evidence found was a hand and the crew is still trying to figure out which one of them did it.
"We're trying to piece together which one of us killed him."
"All we could find was his hand, so he got murdered bad."
The Thrill of Boring History
Ron Wold defends his 9-hour historical documentaries, claiming that while they are objectively boring, he finds them so thrilling that he screams and cheers while watching them.
"When I watch a nine hour documentary about the history of the Korean War, I am screaming, shouting, cheering!"
"I sleep for a full day after watching because I am so spent."
The Drama of Middle School Sailing
Liam Michaels clarifies that her show 'Sales' is about sailing, not selling, and details the intense drama of a student breaking her femur after 'falling on her ankle' (an anchor).
"She fell at her ankle which is a sailing term for getting caught up in the anchors."
"The lunch lady... she's on Dancing With the Stars now."
The Sound Man Pushed to the Brink
Augusto Spoons describes the grueling conditions of his documentary, including a sound man who held a boom pole for 60 days straight because mothers can lift cars and boom guys can hold booms.
"I had a sound man holding the Boom for 60 days."
"When a man is pushed to the brink he can do incredible things."
"Mothers can lift cars, fathers can lift cars, and a boom guy can hold the boom."
Augusto's Daily Routine in Little Norway
Augusto details his bizarre daily schedule involving one sip of coffee, sleeping all day in the winter, and never sleeping during the summer of the midnight sun on an island off Norway.
"I head to the coffee room that I have."
"One sip so as to not disturb the slumber that must follow."
"I live on an island off of Norway... Little Norway."
The Surfer Murder Mystery and the Shark Theory
Kyler Byler discusses the mysterious death of his friend Tutti and the various suspects in his surf community, while Leah questions if he's over-complicating the narrative for True Crime appeal.
"Tutti is the guy who died. He's my bro."
"There's a large online community that they're doing something called the shark theory."
"It feels like you're forcing me to solve something that doesn't need to be solved."
The Human Interest in Things
Ron Wold argues that humans are primarily interested in 'things' rather than each other, using Ariel from The Little Mermaid and her fascination with a fork as a primary example.
"Humans, if not interested in each other, are interested in things."
"We're Ariel from The Little Mermaid holding on... that's a fork."
"A fish has absolutely no use for a fork."
The Documentarian Voice-Off
The panelists demonstrate their various narration styles, from Ron's slow, rhythmic pauses to Leah's high-intensity Netflix docuseries trailer style.
"It's not your vocal tone but it's the pauses you take in the middle of each word."
"Four people. One dream. My life would suck without you."
"Four men enter. Four men leave changed. The bats. The bats."
"Four men enter, four men leave changed."
The Podcast Mystery Documentary Pitch
Kyler Byler pitches a meta-documentary about waking up, surfing, and attending a podcast where one person is 'off,' framed as a high-stakes true crime mystery.
"One person is off, but you don't know who, and it could even be you."
"Let's hope this gets solved. It's time."
The 75-Part Garnish Documentary
Ron Wold announces his next project: a massive 75-part series on food garnishes, claiming they are too complex for a single film and have been reviled since the 1400s.
"It's gonna be 75 parts, an hour each, because garnishes technically go back thousands of years."
"Garnishes in the 1800s? Reviled."
Augusto's Bat Confession
Augusto Spoons attempts to hide his obsession with bats by describing 'fluttery furry friends' in a box before finally admitting his love and announcing a non-Batman bat movie.
"I am in love with the bats! There, I said it!"
"I'm going to make a bat movie next and I'm going to be proud of it."
The Front of War and Toddler Ball-Pits
Kyler Byler discusses his 'Front of War' true crime doc while Leah Michaels pitches a series about competitive toddlers in Jupiter, Florida throwing balls to get 'more stupider.'
"They're putting me on the front lines to make a war document."
"Netflix is sending me everywhere where there's a competition and a kid willing to cry."