Morning Radio Show Hosts
Cast & Characters (4)
Bits & Timeline (13)
Meet the Morning Zoo Crew of 99.5 The Sploosh
The hosts introduce their radio personas: Crazy Cody, The Beef, and their 'two girls' Ellie Kay and Bessily, who are forced to share a single stool due to a scheduling error on Slack.
"A lot of feminine energy coming into the man cave tonight."
"We normally only have one girl but there was a scheduling issue on the Slack."
"We're both on the same stool."
The Sound Effects Guy's Medical Emergency
The crew explains that their sound effects guy is absent because his vasectomy 'turned on him,' forcing the hosts to perform their own vocal sound effects, including farts and generic wacky noises.
"He recently got a vasectomy and it is turning on him."
"His penis is evil."
"Never get him snipped. Snipped get stitched."
O-Wango Tango in Reno, California
The hosts promote their knock-off music festival 'O-Wango Tango' featuring cover bands like 'B-Steal' and located in a Nevada casino named 'California' where you can buy dogs.
"Kiss FM owns Wango Tango, we own O-Wango Tango."
"The only casino where you can buy dogs."
The Beef's Messy Divorce Soundboard
The crew reveals they use a recording of The Beef's ex-wife Natasha telling him he'll never see the kids as a recurring comedic sound effect on the show.
"Natasha took the kids and it's something that they keep on bringing up."
"You're never getting the kids again! [Foghorn noise]"
The Severance Pitch and Standing Sleep
Ellie Kay claims she pitched the show Severance to Bill Gates in 1998 to escape her radio co-hosts. The group discusses their shared reality of sleeping standing up in the center of their rooms and being hired at the 'perfect age' of 22.
"I was worried about the fucked up shit you guys were saying on air."
"I wanted to continue making a moderate radio host salary."
"I believe that time is not linear. I believe everything happened."
"We sleep standing up and then we go somewhere and then we wake up and we're back at home."
Cody's Cookies and Toxic Workplace Pranks
The hosts reminisce about 'Cody's Cookies,' a segment where they gaslit wives of cheaters. They also discuss sending loose bunnies to teachers and their inability to turn down the studio volume because engineering was outsourced.
"If the wife does eat the cookies we would call her and tell her nothing is wrong and that I think was gaslighting."
"Miss Stewart got I think three or four Untamed wild bunnies without a cage."
"They've outsourced all the engineering to another country and we are just basically in a room."
The Robotic Catchphrase Loop
Bessily and Ellie Kay enter a hypnotic trance, repeating a series of generic morning radio catchphrases like 'Sick,' 'Totally,' and 'Boys.' The Beef and Cody explain this is a standard two-hour segment they call 'Two Girls One Mic.'
"It was just a hypnotic sort of trance state where you enter into a flow, a meditative state of haha awesome no way uhoh sick awesome boys."
"One mic is when we are given 30 seconds to express our opinions so we do it really really fast."
"Red car blue car red car blue car red car blue car."
Unsalted Healthcare and Dental for the Bottom Half
The hosts debate middle seats and salted almonds before revealing their terrible office healthcare plan, which only covers the bottom half of their teeth and provides 'half-pills' that look like puzzles.
"I think that the healthcare you're being provided is a little unsalted."
"We get dental for half. Bottom half. Bottom teeth covered because that's where the sound bounces from."
"I thought my doctor was giving me little puzzles to solve."
Courtroom Sketches and Undercover Ass
The hosts look back at their favorite guests and courtroom sketches, including Sanjaya singing at the Casey Anthony trial and Ellie Kay dressing as a trench-coat witness. Cody pitches a new prank show called 'Undercover Ass.'
"Remember when we sent Sanjaya to the Casey Anthony trial to sing?"
"You guys did the mashed potato on the stand and again we are in a radio format so we can only hear the judge going order order."
"I'm doing undercover ass. It's a prank show where I pretend to be Kim Kardashian's big ass."
"I hug her like a koala and I walk around being her ass"
The Rivalry with Cody Blork and The Splash
The hosts discuss their rival show on 100.0 The Cool, which they claim is a PC amalgamation of their own personalities that started a year later just to mock them.
"It's like kind of an amalgamation of all the things we are"
Bessily's Viral Meme Song
Bessily performs her catchy, nonsensical song 'What Do I Dream Of' which features lyrics about memes of her mom in a pool and has apparently gone viral on TikTok.
"What do I dream in the dream of my memes memes of my mom in the pool"
The Wet T-Shirt Poem Contest
A caller enters a decade-late submission for a 'wet t-shirt poem' contest, delivering a somber, water-logged performance that leaves the hosts horny and confused.
"I am sodden in water-logged clothing"
"Wow I'm horny"
The HelloFresh Podcast Hostility
The Beef and Crazy Cody reveal they have a secret podcast sponsored exclusively by HelloFresh, leading to a debate on whether women can be trusted to run such a show.
"Can't women be trusted to run a HelloFresh sponsored podcast"