Inside the Kellogg's Cinematic Universe
Cast & Characters (4)
Bits & Timeline (12)
The Kellogg's Cinematic Universe Roundtable
The hosts introduce a panel of four directors tasked with building the Kellogg's Cinematic Universe, a brand-driven film franchise rivaling Marvel.
"Not the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but the Kellogg's Cinematic Universe."
Henry Shambles, Jr. and the Jacked Black Tony the Tiger
Henry Shambles, Jr. discusses his transition from quirky indie films to helming the Tony the Tiger movie, featuring a 'jacked' Jack Black and draft 44 of a passive-aggressive script.
"I am the one trusted with helming Tony the Tiger."
"Jack Black's body transformation for this... he is so jacked now."
Lisa Elisa Lisa's Snack, Crapple, and Pop
Lisa Elisa Lisa explains her family's naming traditions and her controversial decision to rename Snap to 'Snack' because he is a 'hot guy' played by Chris Hemsworth.
"He changed the name from Snap to Snack because he is hot in this."
"I've never misspoken."
Jerome Jerop's Jamaican Due Date Crossover
Jerome Jerop pitches his Apple Jacks movie as a Jamaican-themed road trip movie inspired by 'Due Date', starring Robert Pattinson as a cinnamon stick named Cinna-mon.
"They are doubling down hard that they want the cinnamon stick to be Jamaican."
"Robert Pattinson is in there and he wants to do a full Jamaican accent."
George Sevignier's Manchester by the Mini Wheats
George Sevignier struggles with the Mini Wheats movie, which Kellogg's wants to be a deep drama in the vein of 'Manchester by the Sea' despite the character being a nameless piece of cereal.
"Believe it or not, I'm getting Manchester by the Sea."
"I keep going: is this an animal or a food?"
The Toucan Sam Spin-off Universe
The panel discusses the legal complexities of Toucan Sam being tied up with Sony, leading to a spin-off universe including a movie about his wife, 'Toucan Samstress,' who is a seamstress.
"Toucan Sam was tied down with Sony and they're just fighting a lot between that."
"There's the whole spin-off about his wife that they're in production: Toucan Samstress."
The Apple Dance and Serial World Lore
The directors discuss mandatory product placement like the 'Apple Dance' and the creation of 'Serial World,' a universe inside a black hole at the bottom of a cereal bowl containing a TikTok room.
"They call it Serial World. You fall into the bowl and then there's a black hole."
"There is a TikTok room within the black hole of cereal."
The Milk Metaphor Conflict
The panel realizes their movies have completely contradictory lore regarding milk: it is variously a friend, a tsunami of destruction, Popeye's spinach, and ganja.
"Milk is actually ganja in my movie."
"Milk for you is a friend, milk for you is a force of destruction, milk for you is weed, and milk for me is Popeye spinach."
The Ultimate Crossover Post-Credit Scene
The panel pitches an increasingly absurd post-credit sequence involving Will Smith slapping Cinnamon, the Lucky Charms Leprechaun, and a crossover with Young Sheldon.
"Will Smith is on stage and who walks up to slap him? It's Cinnamon to get revenge for Chris Rock."
"Ding dong, who's at the door? It's Young Sheldon. CBS tie-in!"
The Kellogg's Corporate Abduction
One by one, the directors are physically dragged off stage or 'called' by Kellogg's corporate entities, leaving George Sevignier alone to face the terrifying Mr. Kellogg.
"Big Cereal controls everything. Amazon, Elon Musk, everything is—"
"Come into the dark. Submerge yourself in milk."
"Now that's why they call the show biz!"
The Patreon Pitch and Dynasty Typewriter Farewell
The performers break character to plug their Patreon after-show and bid farewell to the Dynasty Typewriter venue.
"Welcome to the beautiful Dynasty Typewriter!"
The Self-Deprecating Legal Disclaimer
A formal voiceover disclaimer clarifies that the opinions expressed do not reflect anyone's actual views because the performers are 'stupid'.
"Because this is an improvised podcast and we're stupid."