Four brilliant actors with breakout performances as supervillains discuss the art of being the bad guy, whether or not they're evil in real life, and when exactly they're going to die.
The panel introduces themselves, featuring a cyborg Napoleon, a hormone-manipulating moon, and a DC actor trapped in a non-disclosure agreement nightmare.
"I'm Gervais Peanut and I play Dark Side of the Moon."
"Currently the project is called Unknown DC Project."
Gervais Peanut explains that her character's power in the Catwoman movie is specifically designed to manipulate female hormones as a feminist obstacle.
"It was a very pro-feminist, pro-hormone movie."
The Mixer describes his method acting process, which involves moving his neighbors' garden gnomes to make them feel like they are losing their minds.
"I move their garden gnomes a little closer to their house each and every day."
"He's mentally ill. That's his power."
The panel of legendary villains introduces themselves, including Bone-A-Part and The Mixer. Henry Hayworth struggles with extreme DC secrecy, unable to name his project or character beyond 'No More Mr. Nice Guy.'
"Bone-A-Part is Napoleon Bonaparte reimagined and rebuilt as a cyborg-like man trying to take over the world."
"Currently the project is called Unknown DC Project."
"What is hype if I have nothing to talk about?"
Gervais Peanut explains her role as Dark Side of the Moon in Catwoman, a villain who controls hormones. The panel debates if other characters like Billy Elliot or Lady Bird are secret villains.
"Dark Side of the Moon uses the moon to fuck up everyone's hormones."
"Billy Elliot, one of the most famous villains. He brought art to that coal town."
"I'm not evil, I'm just old."
The Mixer reveals he is playing his own grandson in a 2026 production and demonstrates the 'inner baby' method. The panel discusses the physical toll of playing three generations of the same villain.
"I am proud to announce The Mixer's Grandson is in production for 2026."
"Humanity is dragged through the mud. Junior! Goo-goo ga-ga."
"She doesn't want to have to look after an evil little toddler."
Henry Hayworth accidentally reveals his character name is Slimeboy, causing a medical emergency for the 92-year-old Gervais Peanut, who refuses to join the 'Hospital Guild.'
"This is all I have to do just to be able to play Slimeboy."
"911, we've got a must-join. You got to go pick him up."
The panel introduces themselves, featuring a moon-powered feminist antagonist, a cyborg Napoleon Bonaparte, and a returning guest who plays both a father and son via the Irishman effect.
"I'm Gervais Peanut and I play Dark Side of the Moon."
"Bone-Apart is Napoleon Bonaparte reimagined and rebuilt as a cyborg-like man."
"The Irishman effect, it's opened up so many doors."
Henry Hayworth struggles to promote his upcoming DC project while being legally barred from revealing the character name, the movie title, or any plot specifics.
"Currently the project is called Unknown DC Project."
"What is hype if I have nothing to talk about?"
"It's a dummy sides name."
Gervais Peanut explains the plot of the Catwoman movie where her villainous character uses the moon to manipulate the superhero's menstrual cycle and hormones.
"Dark Side of the Moon uses the moon to fuck up everyone's hormones."
"She's constantly susceptible to the powers of the moon and her cycle."
The panel discusses Henry Bouffeau's legendary stage career, specifically his minimalist renditions of Shylock performed at age 82 and 92.
"I played Shylock at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival when I was 82."
The Mixer describes his method acting process, which involves moving neighbors' garden gnomes to simulate psychological warfare and gaslighting.
"I move their garden gnomes a little closer to their house each and every day."
"Mentally ill. That's his power."
Henry Hayworth struggles to discuss his process while being legally barred from mentioning any specifics about his upcoming DC project.
"I can talk about processes and I can talk about the things, the experiences I've had, I just can't use any specifics."
The villains discuss the public perception of their morality, questioning if they are actually evil in real life or just misunderstood artists.
"It is so funny how evil people think I am in real life."
"Are you guys evil in real life?"
"People ask me that a lot and I don't know the answer, to be honest."
The comedic roundtable is interrupted by a standard pharmaceutical advertisement for Cosentyx.
"I adapted a lot of things in my life around my hidradenitis suppurativa symptoms."
