Known from: UCB. Known from: Comedy Bang! Bang!.
The panel of the Goodfellas sequel, Betterfellas, introduces themselves, featuring a screenwriter named Scar and a cast of international actors including a famous French actress and a security guard named Fuzz.
"I am Scar. I am the screenwriter of Goodfellas 2: Betterfellas."
"Hello. I am a famous French actress, Marion Cotillard, and I played the mob boss, Polly."
Francisco Florentina reveals he has been cast as the headliner for the new Pirates of the Caribbean, which involves a pre-taped 'tight seven' minutes of stand-up comedy shown before the movie starts.
"I'm headlining. I'm going to be doing my stand-up act before the film."
"The audience will watch a film of me doing a tight seven in front of the audience."
The international cast discusses their origins, leading to Marion Cotillard describing a rural version of Paris with a 'U' in it and Francisco claiming his father is from the Italian region of Mendocino County, California.
"I am from a sort of southeastern, very rural part of France. I believe it's called Pally."
"Mendocino County here in Northern California, I believe it is. I never met my father."
The cast describes the logistical nightmare of filming the entire movie under Fenway Park, including Francisco's surprise at having to perform 73 different character changes in a single day.
"I think for me, it would have made it a little bit easier if I had known about the 73 different changes."
"What if there's a bunch of mob guys under this field?"
The cast discusses their international origins, leading to Marion claiming she is from a rural French town called 'Pally' (Paris with a U) and Francisco revealing his father is from Mendocino County, California, not Italy.
"It's rural Paris. Population 12 people."
The panel of intimacy coordinators introduces themselves, establishing their niche expertise ranging from Michael Bay's explosions to dog humping and music video Google Docs.
"My name is Cedric Shaboozey. I am the intimacy coordinator for Michael Bay."
"I am an intimacy coordinator for dogs and I manage any sort of animal on-set interaction."
"I'm big in the rap game, I'm big in the rock scene, that's where I thrive."
The panel reverently discusses their shared mentor, Jean-Paul, the 'godfather' of intimacy coordination who famously worked on deleted sex scenes in 'It's a Wonderful Life'.
"Jean-Paul is one of the greatest intimacy coordinators we've ever known."
"Of course, his work in It's a Wonderful Life, all those deleted scenes."
Cedric describes his work on Transformers 4, specifically a scene where Bumblebee and Starscream's ejaculate creates the world's first fireworks.
"Bumblebee and Starscream have sex in the sky."
"Their cum was fireworks and then it was the ending... that's how fireworks were created."
The panel discusses their varied philosophies on kissing, ranging from Gavin's 'raw dogging' only rule to Debbie's accidental mouth-to-mouth collisions on the 181 bus.
"I want to get straight to raw dogging as quickly as possible."
"I move fast and I move hard. And so sometimes somebody's coming off and I'm coming on. And then boom, I hit them mouth to mouth."
Albert Habib reveals he retired early after winning a massive lawsuit against Ben Affleck, who allegedly 'lost his mind' and fingered Albert's ear on the set of Good Will Hunting.
"I continuously get 45% of his check."
"Ben Affleck lost his mind, his finger into my ear."
The coordinators vent their frustrations with prop masters and discuss the various substances used for fake semen, including Debbie's controversial use of human placeholders for dogs.
"Show me a prop master who understands cum like an intimacy coordinator would."
"We use a human man's cum as a placeholder."
The panel introduces themselves, including Cedric Shaboozey (Michael Bay's coordinator), Albert Habib (Bridgerton), and Eloise Lumiere, establishing a theme of extreme professional consent.
"I am the intimacy coordinator for Michael Bay. I've worked on the last four Transformers."
"I know it's ironic that my last name is Habib, which is Arabic for love."
Debbie recounts the grueling production of Air Bud 4, where the dog joined the military, leading to her sketching canine sex positions in her marriage bed.
"I'm up in our marriage bed when we should be having sex and I'm drawing out dogs."
Scar reveals his background in censorship and his membership in the 'No Cussing Club,' explaining why the sequel to Goodfellas contains zero profanity, much to the frustration of the actors.
Francisco Florentina attempts to use his catchphrase 'Buonasera,' but the cast mishears it as 'Bonacello,' leading to a reveal that he has a brand of high-quality Italian cellos.
Albert Habib reveals he started his career by recording himself masturbating, leading to his signature 'taint shot' and his work making Bridgerton look 'absolutely disgusting'.
