Sydney Heller
Guest2 episodesCharacters
2
Highlight Bits
16Josephine Scab: The Rat Heiress
Josephine Scab reveals she is a literal rat and the sole heir to the Chuck E. Cheese fortune. She discusses her plans to teach 'sex ed' to child rats once her uncle passes away in hospice.
"Chuck E. Cheese is my uncle. I'm a rat."
"In the rat community, we call it teaching children how to fuck."
The Physical Toll of Being a Nepo Baby
The panel discusses the 'abuse' of being asked about their parents' catchphrases. Lisa Fuck reveals she had her teeth and nose removed to look more like her father, the Scrub Daddy sponge.
"The amount of times someone asks me Deal or No Deal... it's abuse."
"I always felt that the nose wasn't necessary."
The Rat King of Chuck E. Cheese Branding
Josephine Scab reveals she is a descendant of Chuck E. Cheese and explains that the restaurant's consistent branding ensures everything, from milkshakes to toilet seats, tastes and feels like pepperoni pizza.
"I don't love to cook because I'm a rat, I love to cook because I am a descendant of Chuck E. Cheese."
"When you sit on the toilet, it feels like you're sitting on a pepperoni pizza."
Winning the Dentist and Insider Trading
The group brags about 'winning' various life milestones, including the dentist's office (by having no cavities), college (by leaving after two weeks), and insider trading.
"I won the dentist office. They were like, you won."
"I dabbled in some insider trading and I won."
Pop Hit: Fuck Me in the Fuck Post Office
Lisa Fuck previews her new concept albums, 'All Ass No Tit' and 'All Tit No Ass,' and performs her hit single about being horny at the post office on a Thursday.
"The public actually won't see a picture of my ass until the ass album."
"I'm horny at the mailbox, I'm horny at the post office."
Bitmoji Chaz and the Car Crash Emojis
Josephine discusses her husband Chaz, the inventor of Bitmoji, and pitches dark new emoji concepts including car crashes, DUIs, and falling off cruise ships.
"He created the Bitmoji so he's the guy."
"I pitched some that really pushed the line like a person getting into a car crash."
Lisa Fuck's Military Remix of Taps
Following the sudden death of the Chuck-E-Cheese mascot, Lisa Fuck performs a 'pro-military' remix of Taps that consists entirely of the word 'fuck'.
"I did remix it a little bit. I changed some of the words."
"Before the haters get out there, that was pro-military."
Pepperoni Always: The Rat Casino's Ghost Kitchen
Josephine Scab reveals her ghost kitchen business model for Chuck-E-Cheese, while Yankee Mandel claims to have 'won comedy' and shows off a spray-painted rubber chicken trophy.
"If you saw Chuck-E-Cheese on DoorDash you wouldn't order it because you'd go like that's the rat casino."
The ShamWow Movie: Bisexual Panic and Squatters' Rights
The Scottsdale Brothers reveal they live in a shed next to the ShamWow guy and are producing a film where a 'SheWow' and 'Scrub Daddy' cause bisexual audiences to panic. They distance themselves from Vince Offer's legal troubles.
"It's just a pink towel with some googly eyes."
"We live in a shed next door to his house. We are technically neighbors by squatters' rights."
"I wouldn't say we sat outside of his house as much as we live outside of his house."
"If they sploosh on those seats, we've got some ShamWows to dry it up."
AutoZone: The Land of Car-on-Human Romance
Hester and Scoby describe their 12-year project 'AutoZone', a surrealist film where cars age 20 human years annually and engage in beautiful, gravity-defying sexual encounters with women.
"It's Zootopia meets Cars 2 meets Car Wash meets Marriage Story."
"That's how sex works in AutoZone, is that the cars are on top of the women."
"We are some pretty strong nepo babies."
The Scottsdale Brothers Inherit ShamWow
Scott and Dale Scottsdale introduce themselves as the heirs to the ShamWow empire, claiming the product has existed since 1890 and was previously known as the 'whoosh cup.'
"We worked very hard to inherit ShamWow."
"Our mother couldn't keep her legs shut, we were born 11 months apart."
The Cameo Casting Crisis
The filmmakers discuss using the Cameo app to cast Billy Crystal and Lizzo. They debate how to edit around Lizzo's legal allegations in a one-shot film without violating the artistic form.
"I want to green screen her Cameo into another person's Cameo, maybe a dog."
"Any interpolation of the form is a violation of the one-shot and I will have to commit suicide."
The AutoZone Movie and the Car Dads
The Scottsdale brothers describe their experimental AutoZone film, featuring a car that ages in real-time and test screenings for 'car dads' who write questions on their fingers.
"AutoZone is a Zone and that it is different than all types of places."
"They have so many questions they put it on their fingers and we go please sit on your hands."
Media Training by the Ghost of LBJ
The Scottsdale brothers reveal they were media trained by the ghost of Lyndon B. Johnson via WatchMojo top 10 videos after a Caprice Sun-induced seance.
"We were trained by the ghost of Lyndon B. Johnson for 24 hours."
"He showed up in our place and said guys I got nothing to say just watch this."
The Slap Chop Horror Sequel
The group wraps up by pitching a horror movie featuring the Slap Chop that defends the patriarchy, while the Scottsdale brothers mistake a dog for LBJ's ghost.
"I started writing a horror movie featuring the Slap Chop."
The Nepo Baby Roundtable Roll-Call
The hosts introduce a panel of 'nepo babies' who discuss the 'hard work' of walking through doors their parents opened. Andrew the Human establishes his 'bad boy' persona by putting his phone on loud.
"A lot of people put it on silent, I put it on loud."
"The door was open for us, but we got to do the rest."
"God reads my journal for true."