EGOT Winners: A Roundtable of People Who Have Won an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony
Cast & Characters (4)
Bits & Timeline (13)
The Humble Winners of Hollywood
The roundtable of EGOT winners introduces themselves as the absolute winners of Hollywood, claiming they deserve a seat at every restaurant while insisting they remain humble.
"We are the winners of Hollywood. If there was a competition, we won it."
The Dustin: The 24-Year-Old Embryo
The Dustin explains his rapid rise to EGOT status at age 24, including a triple platinum pop ballad album and a guest spot on the teen show 'Bluesphoria'.
"I feel like I'm looking at a fucking embryo, he's so young."
Sarah McDonald: The Undersea Wench
Sarah details her career as a pioneer for alto representation, winning a Tony for 'The Little Undersea Wench' and strong-arming the Emmy committee with a pilot about bubble wrap.
"We strong-armed the Emmy committee in such an aggressive way."
Don Horgen: The Wardrobe Editor
Don Horgen shares his gritty Boston backstory and his unique role as a 'wardrobe editor' who only removes items, leading to a Grammy for an auto-tuned viral video of him screaming.
"I engineered the big hat. They all sat in a big hat like a big bowl."
Andrew Beans and the Pixar Freaks
Andrew Beans describes his career composing for Pixar films with bizarre plots, including 'Popcorn Meets Chair' and 'A Basket Who Learns New York'.
"What kind of middle-aged men thinks of a popcorn falling in love with a chair?"
The Geography of Plano, Texas
A debate erupts over whether music is geographical, leading The Dustin to reveal his wealthy upbringing in Plano, Texas, much to the annoyance of the older panelists.
"The Dustin comes from the Great Plains of Plano, Texas."
"I definitely came from wealth and I'm not ashamed of it."
Sarah McDonald's Tony Blunder and Drag Legacy
Sarah McDonald discusses her viral Tony Awards performance where she forgot the words. Don Horgen reveals his son is a drag queen named Sassy Bitch Deluxe who impersonates her.
"Kids are lip syncing to me forgetting the words to Starfish of My Heaven."
"My son is a drag queen and he lip syncs your entire song."
"Her name is Sassy Bitch Deluxe."
The Dustin's Gen Z Songwriting Process
The Dustin explains that he finds lyrics by singing random phrases in conversation, leading to a debate about Gen Z rules and the 'mundane' nature of current EGOT winners.
"You're a gay man's old woman."
"We're Gen Z, we have no rules."
"You guys are kind of like laid back and mundane."
The Hard Work of EGOT Winners
Don Horgen snaps at Andrew Beans, insisting that hard work and paperwork are the true secrets to success, while Sarah McDonald demonstrates a 'vocal run' that sounds like a medical emergency.
"You can't get a job without filling out a 1099."
"If you're gonna do a run, you better hit the fucking note, kid."
Sarah McDonald's 'And Just Like That' Cameo
Sarah McDonald reveals she is playing Samantha's identical twin sister in the Sex and the City reboot, despite being decades older than Kim Cattrall.
"I do come in as Samantha's twin sister."
"Who left all their sex on the floor?"
Don Horgen's Boston Indie Film Slate
Don Horgen lists his new indie film projects in Boston, featuring aggressive titles like 'I'll See You on the Charles River You Fucking Piece of Shit' and 'On the Grave of Sam Adams I Fucking Sit on My Ass.'
"Working in Boston is a little difficult sometimes people get a little ornery"
"On the grave of Sam Adams I fucking sit on my ass"
"I'll see you on the Charles River you fucking piece of shit"
Sarah McDonald's Wife Buys Burbank
Sarah reveals her wife accidentally bought the entire city of Burbank, putting them in massive debt and forcing Sarah to compose for Pixar's 'Sticker Mania' to pay it off.
"My wife just bought Burbank. The city."
"This woman doesn't know that drag queens aren't singing"
"It's called Sticker Mania and it's the life and death of stickers"
The Dustin's Residency and the Final Table Break
The Dustin attempts to promote his residency at Tenants of the Trees by singing a 'freestyle' over Don Horgen's song, leading to a violent verbal explosion and a chaotic table break.
"Never fucking sing over me ever again"
"Go to fucking hell you fucking piece of shit"
"Refrigerator"