Dialect Coaches (w/ Jon Matteson)

#39Audiostandard

Mar 10, 2022·1h 5m

Stage Premise:

Five of the industry's top dialect coaches talk shop about vowels, phonemes, and whether or not it's okay to sleep with your students.

Cast & Characters (5)

Jon MattesonasDillon Johns

Angela GiarratanaasCindy Woowoo

Kylie BrakemanasDeborah Hysterical

Jeremy CulhaneasKeith

Patrick McDonaldasDon Dodge

Bits & Timeline (14)

2:20 (1m)

CHARACTER_INTRO

The Dialect Coach Roundtable Roll-Call

The panel of dialect coaches introduces themselves, ranging from a 15-year-old YouTuber to a Transatlantic coach whose name is a family legacy.

"Mine is Cindy Woo-Woo, like Cindy Lou-Who but with Woo-Woo."

"I teach them how to sound like a Yank."

"I'm Deborah Hysterical and I'm a transatlantic accent coach."

Cindy Woowoo (Angela Giarratana)Dillon Johns (Jon Matteson)Don Dodge (Patrick McDonald)Deborah Hysterical (Kylie Brakeman)

#Dialect Coaching#Hollywood#Accents

3:20 (45s)

BACKSTORY_REVEAL

Keith's Gritty Musician Dialect Origin

Keith explains his niche coaching actors to sound like real musicians, claiming Tom Waits stole his entire vocal persona after a childhood train accident.

"I teach men who are cast in artist roles to sound like real musicians."

"He stole my whole thing, but I love him."

"I had an accident when I was 14 so this is how my voice sounded back then."

Keith (Jeremy Culhane)

#Method Acting#Music Industry#Voice Acting

4:10 (3m 15s)

ESCALATION

Dillon Johns' 16 University Tour

Dillon Johns lists an impossibly long roster of universities he has worked at, eventually admitting he is often legally barred from discussing why he is asked to leave.

"I've worked at 16 different universities."

"I know voices, I don't know numbers."

"I've been asked to leave or I leave on move on to a new home."

Dillon Johns (Jon Matteson)Cindy Woowoo (Angela Giarratana)Don Dodge (Patrick McDonald)

#Academia#Employment History#Pedagogy

7:35 (1m)

BACKSTORY_REVEAL

Deborah Hysterical and 'War Two'

Deborah discusses her long career dating back to 'War Two', explaining how women entered the dialect coaching field when the men died honorably in battle.

"I was on set, on stage, on film, on screen, on plays for many, many years until the war."

"War Two. War Two."

"It was exactly like the women's softball teams becoming the baseball teams."

Deborah Hysterical (Kylie Brakeman)Keith (Jeremy Culhane)Don Dodge (Patrick McDonald)

#History#Film History#Gender Roles

13:10 (1m)

GAME_OR_PITCH

The Mustard and Cheerio Throat Coat

Cindy Woowoo shares her unconventional YouTube throat remedy involving whisked Dijon mustard and a single Cheerio, much to the horror of the professional coaches.

"Whisk the Dijon mustard, and then add hot water to it and one single Cheerio."

"Don't even say that word, Cheerio."

"Benedict couldn't stop saying Cheerio on Doctor Strange."

Cindy Woowoo (Angela Giarratana)Don Dodge (Patrick McDonald)Dillon Johns (Jon Matteson)

#Wellness/Grift#Vocal Health#YouTube

36:50 (59s)

CHARACTER_INTRO

The Panel of Dialect Coaches Introduces Themselves

The panel of experts introduces their specialties, ranging from transatlantic accents to YouTube tutorials for eighth graders.

"Mine is Cindy Woo-Woo, like Cindy Lou Who but with Woo-Woo."

"I teach them how to sound like a Yank."

"I teach men who are cast in artist roles to sound like real musicians."

Cindy Woowoo (Angela Giarratana)Dillon Johns (Jon Matteson)Don Dodge (Patrick McDonald)Deborah Hysterical (Kylie Brakeman)Keith (Jeremy Culhane)

#Dialect Coaching#Hollywood Experts#YouTube Creators

37:49 (6s)

BACKSTORY_REVEAL

Keith's Origin Story: The Train Accident

Keith reveals his gravelly voice is the result of a childhood game called 'Throaty' where he was hit in the neck by a train.

Keith (Jeremy Culhane)Dillon Johns (Jon Matteson)

#Backstory#Physical Comedy#Voice Acting

38:00 (1m 40s)

ESCALATION

Dillon Johns' Academic Exile

Dillon lists the sixteen universities he has worked at, eventually admitting he is often 'asked to leave' for legal reasons.

"I've worked at 16 different universities."

"I can't legally talk about it, but I am really proud of all of the work."

Dillon Johns (Jon Matteson)Cindy Woowoo (Angela Giarratana)Keith (Jeremy Culhane)Deborah Hysterical (Kylie Brakeman)

#Academia#Professional Ethics#University Life

39:30 (2m 1s)

ESCALATION

The University Tour of Dillon Johns

Dillon Johns lists an increasingly absurd number of universities he has worked at, including NYU Langone and University U, before admitting he is frequently asked to leave for legal reasons.

"I've worked at 16 different universities."

"I know voices, I don't know numbers."

"I can't legally talk about it. But I am really proud of all of the work that I've been able to do."

Dillon Johns (Jon Matteson)Cindy Woowoo (Angela Giarratana)Don Dodge (Patrick McDonald)Deborah Hysterical (Kylie Brakeman)

#Academia#Dialect Coaching#Legal NDAs

42:42 (1m 45s)

BACKSTORY_REVEAL

War Two and the Physically Weakest Profession

Deborah Hysterical explains how she entered the industry during War Two when all the male coaches died honorably. The panel agrees that dialect coaches are the physically weakest people on set.

"I had no ability to become an accent coach until all the men left."

"The dialect coach is the physically weakest person on any set."

"Our voices are our muscles."

Deborah Hysterical (Kylie Brakeman)Don Dodge (Patrick McDonald)Keith (Jeremy Culhane)Cindy Woowoo (Angela Giarratana)

#History#Physicality#Set Life

44:27 (1m 26s)

GAME_OR_PITCH

The Dijon Mustard and Cheerio Throat Coat

Cindy Woowoo shares her YouTube-certified throat remedy involving whisked Dijon mustard and a single Cheerio, leading to a discussion about Benedict Cumberbatch's obsession with the word Cheerio.

"Whisk the Dijon mustard, and then add hot water to it and one single Cheerio."

Cindy Woowoo (Angela Giarratana)Don Dodge (Patrick McDonald)Dillon Johns (Jon Matteson)

#Wellness#Celebrity Gossip#Remedies

59:34 (1m 22s)

CHARACTER_INTRO

The Dialect Coach Roll Call

The panel introduces themselves, featuring a 15-year-old YouTuber, a Transatlantic expert, and a coach who teaches actors how to sound like real musicians.

"I'm 15 years old and I'm a dialect coach on YouTube."

"I teach them how to sound like a Yank."

"I teach men who are cast in artist roles to sound like real musicians."

Cindy Woowoo (Angela Giarratana)Dillon Johns (Jon Matteson)Don Dodge (Patrick McDonald)Deborah Hysterical (Kylie Brakeman)Keith (Jeremy Culhane)

#Dialect Coaching#Hollywood Training#YouTube Creators

1:01:44 (1m 40s)

ESCALATION

Dillon Johns' University Tour of Shame

Dillon Johns lists an impossible number of universities he has worked at, eventually admitting he is often 'asked to leave' for reasons he cannot legally disclose.

"I've worked at 16 different universities."

"I really feel I can see in several classes the effect that I've made... and then after that I've been asked to leave."

"I can't legally talk about it."

Dillon Johns (Jon Matteson)Keith (Jeremy Culhane)

#Academia#Non-Disclosure Agreements#University Tours

1:03:38 (1m 17s)

BACKSTORY_REVEAL

Deborah Hysterical and the Legacy of War Two

Deborah explains her long career dating back to 'War Two,' claiming she coached the two lines of dialogue in the silent film The Artist.

"I was on set, on stage, on film, on screen, on plays for many, many years until the war."

"War Two. I feel like some people call it War Two or Two or the Big War."

"It was exactly like the women's softball teams becoming the baseball teams when the boys were away."

Deborah Hysterical (Kylie Brakeman)Keith (Jeremy Culhane)

#Film History#Silent Films#War Backstory