Improvised Roundtables, Ep. 37: Location Scouts Field Trip
Cast & Characters (4)
Bits & Timeline (13)
Meet the Ryan Murphy Location Scouting Team
The team introduces themselves while driving, including Ryan Murphy's older sister Faye and 'Honk,' the veteran driver who has worked with Murphy since Nip/Tuck.
"I am Ryan Murphy's older sister. I worked my way up."
"I have been interning as a scout for 10 years actually waiting to get on staff."
"Everyone calls me Honk because I usually drive the car."
The Art of the Studio Grudge
Honk rants about terrible studios like Radford and Rally Studios ('Run By Rats'), while the team spots a real estate office that would make a perfect sex dungeon.
"Rally is honestly... I call it Run By Rats (RBR)."
"Gallaher Real Estate... that could be a perfect sex dungeon for the next show."
"We stopped Burbank for a whole day. The industry collapsed."
The 'Cheat' and the 16-Year Internship
Brian explains 'the cheat'—turning one location into another—while Cierra reveals her internship has lasted 16 years and pays only $15 a week.
"The cheat is taking a location and cheating it for another location."
"I've been an intern for a collective of, I'd say, 16 years."
"I'm paid $15 a week."
Wrecking Locations and Dating as a Scout
The scouts discuss the guilt of ruining nice family homes with fake blood and explosions, and how their professional 'eagle eye' ruins their personal lives and dates.
"Mr. Murphy loves to throw some fake blood around a kitchen."
"Don't you dare take a picture of that ceiling!"
"I cheated a Topanga Canyon bungalow for the Oval Office."
The Sarah Paulson Shape-Shifter Theory
The scouts discuss the logistical nightmare of Sarah Paulson, claiming her physical height and image change drastically depending on whether she is standing in classical architecture or a rustic barn.
"She's almost like a shape-shifter."
"In rustic barn settings she looks very tall."
Growing Up with Ryan Murphy
Faye and Brent Murphy recount their traumatic childhood with their brother Ryan, who allegedly forced them to kiss dead bodies and wake up in puddles of fake blood as part of his 'twisted genius' process.
"He is the art department."
"I would wake up in a puddle of blood all the time."
Property Manager Horror Stories
Brian describes playing Russian Roulette to secure a yurt location, while Faye admits to kidnapping and tying up a mall owner who wouldn't let the crew wear shoes on her 'antique' floors.
"I had to play Russian Roulette for a location."
"I took this property manager and I put her in a closet and I tied her up."
The Wild Bear Park Incident
The scouts recall a disastrous shoot in a bear park where they lost a crew member named Roy because the production refused to budget for a set medic.
"We lost a good Roy. R.I.P. Roy."
"That's not in the budget."
The Reno Ceiling Fan Obsession
The scouts discuss Ryan Murphy's exacting standards for ceiling fans in Reno, leading to a cross-country drive just to place a specific thong on a fan blade.
"He wanted a different color thong placed on the ceiling fan for a test."
"A Reno room is much different than a room in Burbank... it's much more haunted."
The Night Stalker Misunderstanding
Honk reveals he was once interrogated by the FBI because his massive collection of house photos made him look like a serial killer.
"They thought I was the Night Stalker."
"You're too busy, you're a workaholic, you don't have time to murder."
American Horror Story: Train and Mars
The group laments failed pitches for Ryan Murphy, including a train-based season and a Mars season set entirely in a French villa.
"It's either us or art, you're gonna pick one or the other."
"You don't know what Mars is like... maybe it's a French villa."
The Silent Stand-in Speaks
The panel finally acknowledges the silent person in the car, revealed to be a Sarah Paulson stand-in who only speaks to mention ranch dressing.
"I made Cool Ranch just ranch."
"Back in the trunk, Sarah Paulson."
The Pull-Over Hex Rules
The scouts explain the strict rules of the road: each person gets one 'pull over please,' one 'hex,' and one 'sloppy sex' per day.
"You're hexing the pull-over!"
"One pull-over, one hex, and one sloppy sex where you gotta Uber back."